Reflections

My sweet baby is 1 year old today.

On Friday morning, the 28th, I went to the Farmer's Market and bought sweet corn, in addition to a smattering of other vegetables. Pushing Starbeans in an umbrella stroller, I passed by a vender selling pints of beautiful blueberries and raspberries in little wooden square containers.

Seeing them pushed me into the realm of memory.

Last year, July 28th was on a Thursday. The Farmer's Market is downtown on Thursdays in Minneapolis and I was there after an appointment with my midwife. Before catching the bus, I bought sweet corn at one stand; then I passed by a vender selling beautiful blueberries and raspberries in little wooden square containers - and I stopped and bought a pint of each.

As I sat waiting for the bus, feeling hot and miserably pregnant, I thought about the raspberries, the blueberries, the non-pregnant Mexican woman sitting next to me, and wondered, "When...when...??" When on earth was I going to get this baby out of me? Who would it be? Was this woman feeling sorry for me - because I sure was. What would it feel like to not be pregnant again? What would it feel like to have an actual baby?

I brought all the corn and blueberries and raspberries home, but didn't eat any of it: I planned to savor them over the weekend. I wasn't due until August 8th anyways, and good grief - don't first babies go over their due date by at least a week?

We went out for dinner with my grandparents that night, where I pounded down an enormous hamburger, a giant plate of french fries, and drank glass after glass of water and raspberry lemonade. Very strange, indeed, as I barely drank anything after 6 pm last summer to avoid getting up (literally) 4-6 times a night to pee and I hadn't been able to eat much recently either - the baby was taking up too much room. Odd - very odd.

• 2 am that night/morning, my water broke.
• 4 am contractions started.
• 10 am we went into the hospital.
• All afternoon and evening we labored through back labor, of all unpleasant and painful things.
• 10 pm, after being stuck at 7 centimeters for 5 hours, my midwife said, "I know you said that you wanted to go naturally, but if I've ever seen a time where Pitocin would be useful in my 30 years, the time is now."
• 11 pm, Pitocin administered.
• 1:17 am, Saturday July 30th, our beautiful Starbeans plunked out with nary a cry. The midwife brought him to my chest and I looked at him with utter amazement. He made little squeaking noises and suckled at the breast.

By the time we got back to our sweet corn, it has lost some of its juicy vibrance. We brought the raspberries and blueberries to the hospital with us, but got lost in all the excitement; and, they too, lost some of their umph.

It was strange to walk by the same vendor selling the same beautiful berries, only this time my sweet little munchkin was known to me - sitting in a stroller in front of me and smiling up with his 4-toothed grin. The last time he was snuggled up in my womb, pinching my sciatic nerve, and waiting for his soon-to-be grand entrance.

Amazing.

I can link with this, I can link with that.

Yo.

Mish-mash

Lord of the Flies kept me on the edge of my seat to the very last page. I honestly had no memory of the ending, so it was pretty intense.

Very good read.

Starbeans is 1 year old next Sunday. AMAZING. He has been eating solids regularly, so his poop is starting to change and get more stinky. Gone are the days of inoffensive yellow poop - hello, chunks!

It was interesting - today was the first day of his life where he pooped and felt upset about it. As in, he wanted that crap out. I thought that he had pooped, but I burnt my thumb and was nursing it with ice; so because of that, he was sitting in it for awhile (maybe 5-10 minutes). It got to the point where he was fussing and pulling on his diaper, looking up at me in a helpless way. Poor thing.

Another first: Today, I asked him where our cat Tootsie was. He looked over at her and put his hand out in her direction. My child is a genius! Seriously though - we were so proud. It is a lot of fun to watch his cognitive development.

On a side note: The best way to take the heat out of a burn is to ice, then apply lavender oil. It takes the pain right out.

There's just something about water...

L of the F

I'm almost done reading Lord of the Flies.

The book before this, Don't Know Much About History, took me almost 4 months to read. Granted, it was probably 600-700 pages and my reading time has been squelched by the more important task of mothering; but I'm flying through Flies lickety-split.

It is really good.

I read it the first time in late junior high (I think I ran into a paperback that my dad had); my main memory of it was at the end of the book when Piggy was pushed off a cliff and dashed against the rocks - and a graphic description of his brains splayed out. I can remember being upset and confused by it. However, reading it again, I can't believe I wasn't more upset by the entire story; perhaps I was too young to understand at the time.

The inside jacket says it perfectly: "Golding's aim [was] to 'trace the defect of society back to the defect of human nature'".

Yo. This speaks to me: I feel like I've had a front-row seat to view all the unsightly defects in my own person, especially within this last year. It has been rough - and I must admit, I don't know how all this junk built up.

Confronting my own ugliness has given me fresh insight into some of the reasons behind our societal ills. I've been thinking about a lot recently. If I have nagging faults that impede my interaction with others, how much harder, then, is it for someone who is truly starting with less? I would say I've had it pretty easy, and yet - there is plenty of hideousness within myself to address.

Human nature.

Yes - it is easier to understand the group as a whole through the rough task of sifting through my own garbage. It has to be done, but crap - it ain't pleasant.

Diddle Diddle

Hey diddle diddle,
The cat and the fiddle,
The cow jumped over the moon.

The little dog laughed
To see such sport,
And the dish ran away with the spoon.

Edith 'n Archie

We've been cooped up in the house the last several days due to an oppressive humidity-laden heat. It has been like walking in a thick soup. Thankfully, we have what Minnesotans call "air" - meaning central air conditioning.

Where I grew up (in WA), no one has air conditioning. Seriously. No one. It just isn't needed.

The midwest is a different story.

While we've been trapped inside, we've watched a lot of All in the Family.

Yo.

Has anyone seen much of this show? I hadn't seen much of it, if any - but we got Season 3 on DVD(s) from the library and have been watching it for a week. It is amazing! All the fighting stresses me out a bit (it's just too realistic), but it is extremely water-proof. The writing is tight; the content is gripping; the characters are endearing; and it is funny. How do they do that?

Seinfeld and All in the Family belong in the same class of biting humor. Well-written, a force to be reckoned with, and something to makes us re-examine ourselves.

I like it.

Earache Remedy

My sweet little one was sick for 3-4 weeks this past January with RSV at the age of 6 months. He was so ill that he actually had to be hospitalized at Children's in Minneapolis for 4 days. (We were sick the entire time as well, but that is a different story).

I was completely unprepared for dealing with a sick baby - nay, an extremely sick baby. Aside from giving him cooling bathes and propping him up while he was sleeping, I didn't really know what else to do. We took him to Urgent Care on a Saturday after he had been sick for several days and all the doctor really did was offer us acetaminophen.

Not good enough.

By the time we took him to the ER on Monday, he was severely dehydrated, sleeping 18-20 hours of the day, and when he wasn't sleeping, he was wailing or coughing. He also wasn't getting enough oxygen. We called a Nurse's line and were urged us to take him to the ER - his legs were blue from the knees down when he woke up from his nap.

He hasn't been sick since, aside from a couple of small colds. However, I've been stocking my brain and daybook with an arsenal of home remedies so I will not be so helpless next time. I especially want to avoid antibiotics; and I fear ear infections the most.

I found a handy earache remedy from Natural Family Living - The Mothering Magazine Guide to Parenting. This book also contains excellent advice for the home care of fevers, colds and flus, and general first aid. I'm a big fan of Aviva Jill Romm as well and plan to buy Naturally Healthy Babies and Children: A Commonsense Guide to Herbal Remedies, Nutrition, and Health soon, as I can't find it at the library.

Garlic Oil eardrops:

• contains antiviral and antibacterial properties
• add 4 crushed garlic cloves to a jar with a quarter cup olive oil and let stand for 1-3 days -strain and refrigerate for up to 6 months
• add a few drops mullein, St. John's Wort, or calendula to the oil
• to administer - run hot water over a spoon until warm, add a few drops of the oil to the spoon, have the child lay dow, ear up, and drop 2-3 drops in the ear
• plug loosely with a cotton ball
• repeat 2-3 times a day for no more than 4 days

THE WALRUS AND THE CARPENTER

Lewis Carroll (1832-1898)

The sun was shining on the sea,
Shining with all his might;
He did his very best to make
The billows smooth and bright--
And this was odd, because it was
The middle of the night.

The moon was shining sulkily,
Because she thought the sun
Had got no business to be there
After the day was done--
"It's very rude of him," she said,
"To come and spoil the fun!"

The sea was wet as wet could be,
The sands were dry as dry.
You could not see a cloud, because
No cloud was in the sky;
No birds were flying overhead--
There were no birds to fly.

The Walrus and the Carpenter
Were walking close at hand;
They wept like anything to see
Such quantities of sand--
"If this were only cleared away,"
They said, "it would be grand!"

"If seven maids with seven mops
Swept it for half a year,
Do you suppose," the Walrus said,
"That they could get it clear?"
"I doubt it," said the Carpenter,
And shed a bitter tear.

"O Oysters, come and walk with us!"
The Walrus did beseech.
"A Pleasant walk, a pleasant talk,
Along the briny beach;
We cannot do with more than four,
To give a hand to each."

The eldest Oyster looked at him,
But never a word he said;
The eldest Oyster winked his eye,
And shook his heavy head--
Meaning to say he did not choose
To leave the oyster-bed.

But four young Oysters hurried up,
All eager for the treat;
Their coats were brushed, their faces washed,
Their shoes were clean and neat--
And this was odd, because, you know,
They hadn't any feet.

Four other Oysters followed them,
And yet another four;
And thick and fast they came at last,
And more, and more, and more--
All hopping through the frothy waves,
And scrambling to the shore.

The Walrus and the Carpenter
Walked on a mile or so,
And then they rested on a rock
Conveniently low--
And all the little Oysters stood
And waited in a row.

"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes -- and ships -- and sealing-wax --
Of cabbages -- and kings --
And why the sea is boiling hot--
And whether pigs have wings."

"But wait a bit," the Oysters cried,
"Before we have our chat;
For some of us are out of breath,
And all of us are fat!"
"No hurry!" said the Carpenter.
They thanked him much for that.

"A loaf of bread," the Walrus said,
"Is what we chiefly need;
Pepper and vinegar besides
Are very good indeed--
Now, if you're ready, Oysters dear,
We can begin to feed."

"But not on us!" the Oysters cried,
Turning a little blue.
"After such kindness, that would be
A dismal thing to do!"
"The night is fine," the Walrus said.
"Do you admire the view?"

"It was so kind of you to come!
And you are very nice!"
The Carpenter said nothing but,
"Cut us another slice.
I wish you were not quite so deaf--
I've had to ask you twice!"

"It seems a shame," the Walrus said,
"To play them such a trick.
After we've brought them out so far,
And made them trot so quick!"
The Carpenter said nothing but,
"The butter's spread too thick!"

"I weep for you," the Walrus said;
"I deeply sympathize."
With sobs and tears he sorted out
Those of the largest size,
Holding his pocket-handkerchief
Before his streaming eyes.

"O Oysters," said the Carpenter,
"You've had a pleasant run!
Shall we be trotting home again?"
But answer came there none--
And this was scarcely odd, because
They'd eaten every one.

Shake it, baby

Last Saturday, Starbeans - now 11 months, entertained himself by shaking the three young birch trees in our backyard. One-handed, two-handed, two trees, one tree. He was all over them; watching and listening to the leaves shushing above.

Ora Newman

We go on a stroll almost every evening, usually to the creek that runs about 3 blocks south of our house. But tonight, I felt the itch to go somewhere different. Instead of going south, we went north, turning on a side-street that we've rarely walked on. And lo-and-behold, what a serendipitous decision it was!

We met Ora Newman. She was standing on the sidewalk in front of her house, poking at some weeds with her cane.

"Hello," I said, "Isn't is a lovely evening?"

"Isn't it though?" she replied, "It is such a beautiful night!"

It was cool, the breeze was blowing, and there wasn't a cloud in sight.

Ora (which is also the name of one of Squeeze's paternal Great-Grandmothers) is a small black woman in her mid-late 80's; she uses a cane to get around, hobbles a bit, and wears spectacles so thick they look like magnifying glasses. When she saw that we had a baby in the stroller, she immediately started squawking and crooning, calling him, "Sugar Boy" or "Mother's Love", and asking him how he was enjoying his walk. He smiled at first, but then stared at her wide-eyed until breaking down into intermittent tears.

We talked outside for awhile; we learned that she had lived in her home for 50+ years, her husband, Oscar, had 'passed' 12 years prior, and that they were some of the first black people to move into the neighborhood. She wanted to give Starbeans some mints, something - anything. Then she invited us in, saying "I've got to get this boy something! Ooooo - Mother's Love."

I love Grandmas. In fact, I love anyone's Grandma.

Her home was exquisitely kept and decorated. The carpet, walls, blinds, and drapes were all a light blue. Her home was decorated in 50's style - amazing boxey furniture with gold fabric woven in, lovely sculpture, curved ceilings, and wall-paper in the dining room that could make your mother cry. So ornate, it was shimmery with felted designs that added texture and made me want to touch it. She also had bowls of mints and candies everywhere.

We talked for awhile, and learned that her husband's father, Cecil Newman, had started the first black newspaper in Minneapolis - The Spokesman. She also said that while they were looking at houses in our neighborhood, they were told courteously, "We're sorry - we don't sell to blacks" (by the realtors). It is hard for me to even fathom this concept. However, they had decided on the neighborhood. They liked it, got in contact with a lawyer, and moved in; she said that the neighbors have always been extremely friendly and in the 50+ years that she has lived there, not one thing has ever been stolen from their yard or home. She had a dog for many years that she named, "Joipan". In fact, her neighbor named his dog, "Joi" in honor of her dog and she says that she takes care of him while the neighbor is out of town.

The conversation was punctuated with "Sugar Boy wants some pop - look how hard he is working on that can! He really needs some pop. Com'on now, go on in the kitchen and get a small cup. Oh go on - give him some pop!"

We had to leave before we wanted to, as Squeeze needed to head to bed. (He gets up at 2:30 a.m. with his new job - can we say yikes?) As we were leaving, she said, "Com'on back now, and visit me, Sugar Boy - I mean it!"

We exchanged goodbyes, and while we were parting, she said something very meaningful to me: "You never know who you're gonna meet, or what new friends you'll make!"

All because we took a little detour on our nightly walk.

We will definitely be visiting Ora Newman again: without a doubt.

The Whole Bean

A few years ago, Squeeze and I were at a thrift store near my parent's house with two of my siblings, Seahorse and Squig. The thrift store is owned and operated by a retirement community; the cashiers are resident volunteers.

Sifting through things, Squeeze found an impeccable copy of Mr. Bean - The Whole Bean (The Complete Set). PBS had whetted our appetite for more Mr. Bean, so we put it in the basket with our other treasures for purchase.

It wasn't marked, nor were DVDs listed in the price sheet on the wall, so when we took it to the counter, we asked the woman how much it would cost.

"What is it?" she asked.

"It is a DVD," I said, "it was over with the books and videos."

"A DVD...okay," she said quizzically "errr - what is that?"

"It plays movies, like a VHS tape - but it is a disc, like a CD."

She still seemed confused.

"It was over by the tapes and CDs," I finished lamely.

"Oh...ok...uhhhhh...uhhhhh..."

I waited.

"Uhhhhhm....one dollar."

SCORE!! I hated to celebrate pulling one over on an old lady, but shoot - we didn't do it on purpose. I did my darndest to try and explain to her what it was; it isn't my fault that she didn't have any idea of 1) what it was, or 2) its true value.

I paid my dollar; then Squeeze, Squig, Seahorse and I went out to the car, guffawed, and re-played the interaction like an old record. What a great way to get a Mr. Bean DVD, of all things. He's such a jackass, isn't he?

A smidge of nostalgia

Bear with me, please: I'm feeling a bit nostalgic for my sleepy little newborn. How did that happen so fast??

2 weeks

10 months

Laughter, the best pain-killer

Today, Starbeans was biting me mercilessly.

While nursing.

But the thing about it was - it was so funny! Even though it hurt, I could barely say no biting in a stern voice - let alone without laughter. I kept on turning my face to the side, so he wouldn't think he was being entertaining and feel encouraged to keep up his act. I could - not - stop - snickering.

It was something about his general aura, or the face he was making - chomping on me with his 4 little teeth, so contentedly. He had been nursing lazily, upset when I would take him away, but not really hungry either.

It must have sounded so bizarre to Squeeze, who was in the kitchen. I was chortling and snorting and trying to say no biting - like I had just heard an irresistibly funny joke - while a little sharp-toothed beast was gnawing on my breast.

Bizarre though it was, it makes me smile just thinking about it.

Busy, like a bee

Errrr, I've been busy.

Our flight arrived in Minneapolis at the bleary hour of 5:33 am on Wednesday morning. We spent most of the day in bed, catching up on sleep. Thursday and Friday, I worked; Friday, Squeeze's parents were here and spent the night; Saturday, we went to a family party at his sister's house. Starbeans got to play with all of his cousins. The almost-2 year old was very interested in him; he kept on pointing at him and signing "baby". They are going to be great pals!

We spent today getting ready for Squeeze's new job. He'll be working 3 am to 7 am, five days a week. The hours are horrific, but each of us working part-time equals one full-time income. It will be good. We are hoping for a smooth transition, especially for poor Squeeze. He is getting up at 2:00 am tomorrow morning. Yes, that is 3 hours from now. As the Minnesotan Swedes say, "Uff-da!"

Wish us luck!

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

Has anyone missed me?

I've been at my parents' house for the last week. My sister graduated from high school and my brother graduated from college; it has been a busy time, filled with parties and seeing family and old friends.

A few stories:

• My Great-Aunt Alice tried to feed Starbeans a spoonful of frosting from the graduation cake. It was like a scene out of a movie: her giant hand moving towards his face in slow motion - Starbeans gleefully opening his mouth to it like a little bird - and me, shrieking and holding him back from it like it was a poison death-draught. Literally. Shrieking. She said, "Oh, he doesn't eat frosting?" and I said, "He's never had sugar in his whole life!" She said, "Oh," and withdrew the demon spoon.
• I swear there is a graduate from Western Washington University named, "Invisible Swanson Johnson". I swear it. My sister heard Melissa, but I'm sticking with Invisible.
• Starbeans has learned to bite; I now say, "No biting" several times a day. He responds with a complaining whine: he definitely knows what NO means.
• My mom's horse, Smokey, rubbed the hair and skin off his hind-end scratching himself on a tree. She's treating him with anti-bacterial soap and Bag Balm. Poor thing.
• All of my siblings, as well as my parents, grandparents, and aunts were nutso about his Royal Sweetness - that is, Starbeans. He enjoyed their affectionate attention (I did too).
• I ate 4-5 avocados during the visit. My mom stocked up for my brother Brent to make guacamole, but guess who got to them first? Whoopsie.

It's that POOP again!

For those of you who are big fans of Starbeans (and I know you are), you will be impressed to know that he pooped on the bowl again. The peeing has been hit and miss recently, which discourages me, but the big pooper this morning raised my spirits a bit.

He usually pees right after the poop - however, this morning, I had to take him off the bowl before he could squeeze out even a drop of pee, because he wanted to play in it. Not good.

Some stats about my beloved little squirt:

• He is 10 months old
• He has tasted 7 things - carrots, banana, oatmeal, avocado, bread, grapes, and watermelon. Oh - and cat hair.
• He has 3.5 teeth
• He has pooped on the bowl 3 times now
• He has recovered from 1 black eye (poor thing - he conked his head on a window sill)
• He has attempted to ingest cat hair 135 times

Lovely Lupine

We've thought the white lupine looks so lovely next to the dwarf blue spruce in our backyard. The colors and texture mixed together is quite dramatic.

I've loved lupines since I read the wonderful book by Barbara Cooney - Miss Rumphius. Her illustrations are so comforting to my eyes and mind (the story is interesting too).

Lupines grow wild like that, in large clusters, along the roads above Lake Superior; north of Duluth.

Quite, quite lovely.

Bizarre Behavior

Our new neighbors seem to be fairly thoughtless.

Our list of grievances:

• Their dog (or friends' dogs) get left out in the yard while they are gone. They bark, and bark, and bark, and bark.
• While they were painting their house, with a sprayer, on a windy day, the paint flew all over our car. And the side of our house. This, I can forgive a little more readily, as perhaps they did not realize what was happening. The paint, because of its mist-like consistency, rubs off - thankfully.

and the kicker:

• Their friend just came and parked in our driveway (it's the only one on the block). Its tail is in the street, the mid-section in the sidewalk, and worst of all, it is boxing our car in. We are trapped! No - worst of all, they all left for the night (with the car still in the drive).

PB & J

Our 85 year old friend, Wilburn, came over today. We went on a walk, ate nuts and drank 7up on a blanket, waded in the Minnehaha Creek, then went back to our house for dinner. While we were eating, Wilburn said, "I was reading the other day about a woman who suggested a very healthy and interesting thing to eat."

Expecting the unexpected, we said, "Oh yes?"

"Yes," he said, "She said that she ate peanut butter, and jelly, on bread."

Uhhhhh....

"Do you mean, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?" we asked.

"No, peanut butter with jelly, on bread."

It went back and forth like this for a little bit, until we said, "You've never heard of that...eating peanut butter and jelly together?" and he said, "No, I've eaten jelly and I've eaten peanut butter, but I've never had peanut butter and jelly together."

"Weird," we said. We were both raised eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches; Squeeze even piped in with, "and I eat them at least once a week".

Wilburn said, "Yes, I'll be very interested to try that. It sounds good!"