Happy Birthday Diego

 Two months old

Just look at that belly --

oochie-coochie-coo . . . gggggweee

8 years old

Polly was biting his ear --

Seriously, they were made for each other.

Our other baby, the furry one

 Introducing our newest little darling:

Polly Sparkle

Blaine and Diego made a kitten house for her together,

after Diego's idealistic solo attempt

went up in a puff of smoke (AKA 'reality') and tears.
As you can see, she actually uses it.

 Diego and Polly are the sweetest of friends.

She mews piteously for him at the back door when he's inside

and he carries her around like his own little baby.

They wrestle a lot too (kitten vs. hand).

 

 "She's already grown so much", but seriously, she has.

Babies are babies, no matter what kind.  It is amazing.
She really is "the perfect kitten".
She's playful, affectionate, friendly and likes to snuggle.
What more could a kid want?

Tsunami

This morning for the first time I thought, "I don't know how I'm going to do this".

It was in the middle of my attempt at helping Diego make a pricing sign for their farmers' market stand.  (Diego and Truen are teaming up this year and have made $12 selling to household visitors, mostly their Gramma and Great-Aunts.  The rural version of the proverbial neighborhood lemonade stand!)

Not surprisingly, Jamie tired of his coloring after a few minutes and was running amok.  The baby, who had been asleep in the swing, woke up and started crabbing (very unusual).  Truen was immersed in hole-punching a piece of paper but wasn't letting Jamie use the other two or three hole-punchers.  Diego was getting frustrated over his mistake of using a blue crayon to color his scallion instead of the intended green.

And that is when I thought it.  How am I going to do this, with this spread of ages?  I was definitely thinking about homeschooling, yes -- but it was a more base thought than that.  Even a smidgeon of directed focus towards the oldest child in this family seems to be impossible.  It seems like I can't do anything that involves more attention than a passing conversation, inquiry, or direction.  Unless Jamie is asleep.

And that is it.  One of the major disruption forces working against household peace: the two year old.  It is hard for me to do much of anything with the older two, again, unless he's asleep, because one of three things is happening: 1) everything is blissfully quiet, but he's off destroying something, 2) he's talking or hollering over whatever I'm trying to do or say, or 3) he's attempting to rip the game pieces or book right out of our hands.

Add a baby to the mix and it is a recipe for complete chaos.  Of course, unless I am actively interacting and directing and attending to the littlest ones.  But then I don't even feel like I'm able to pay attention to them either.  It isn't just Jamie.  Someone is always fighting or crying or hollering or asking a question or playing loudly or needing a snack.

I know I'll be fine and things will eventually iron out, but wow.  How is it done?

Flashback

 3 years old in 2008

The apple of my eye...

8 years old in 2013

Time flies with the speed of the wind
(though I do understand the irony of "you ain't seen nothin' yet")

"I see you're very busy," they say.

Six weeks postpartum and I have yet to post my birth story.  Or even start the post.  Dah.

I'm honestly almost to the point of not caring.  Which kind of makes me sad, but it can't be helped.  'Tis the season.  Of year and life.  It's summer-time.  The garden is putting out and I have four boys that keep me hopping.  The little "down-time" I do have (oh the irony) dissipates elsewhere.

But I'm happy.  Very happy.

One of my goals this summer is to take the boys swimming once a week.

We've gone to the kiddie pool once and the lake twice.

Two out of the three times, Jamie took a nap on his own volition.

Once in the stroller, once on the blanket under a towel.

So wonderful, because he's actually cheerful at the end of the day.

 The nice thing about this lake is the waves on a windy day --

Almost as good as the seashore.

They had so much fun jumping the waves.

They were also battling the waves (of course).

 

 I had Jamie in a little floaty-thing because 

the waves were so strong it was knocking him over.

Thank goodness I brought it (a dumpster-diving treasure, btw).

 I just love this picture of Peg-Leg Dieg --

It gives such a great view of his changing teeth,

not to mention how adorable and happy he is in the water.

 And here's what me and the Little Mister were doing on the beach.

He was snoozing and I was soaking in the maternal bliss.

No one was fighting, everyone was entertained and happy --

It was beautiful, warm, pleasant, relaxing.

It was so bloody satisfying.

Life carries on in other ways too.  Like newborns turning into plump little babies.  Eliah is six weeks old now.  Un-un-un-un.  I can hardly remember life without him.  It seems like he's always been here.  

He loves being held upright, looking over my right shoulder.  He's starting to make little baby noises more and more, still so softly, like he's just trying them out.  We snuggle together all night long, which feels so. good.  I still don't mind waking up to nurse him throughout the night.  The only bugger is when I can't get a burp out, but then I just prop him up across my chest while laying down, pat his back and doze.

 He started smiling on Saturday morning.

I could tell it was coming soon --

I saw one side of his mouth turn up on Friday night.

He's a big hit with his new skill and it makes everyone laugh and feel happy.

(The picture is blurry from me gggggwa-ing to get him to grin.)

 But I still love seeing that serious little face --

He was ooooooo-ing in this picture.

The composition in this picture pleases me.

Not to mention the little feller, gettin' plump.

It's hard getting work done with a little one though.  Very hard.  Especially now that there are three older brudders who still need me.  It is inevitable that someone needs something at pretty much all times.  I've kept on track with maintaining an hour of Quiet Time for the older boys during Jamie's nap, but Eliah's long nap isn't always reliable in coinciding in conjunction with this designated down-time.

There are piles everywhere.  Many tasks are on the back-burner, waiting to be done.  Paperwork and my very important task of recording life ("special notebooks", calendars, picture emails, blog, etc.) is piling up.  All the boys' winter clothes is sitting in a big stack downstairs.  Not to mention trying to keep a good supply of food in regular rotation.  Not so easy when you cook from scratch and have only a smidgen of time.  

Blaine and I are working as a team on food preservation, and he is spending a lot of time doing inside work I usually have covered in addition to his outside work, which is so wonderful . . . but the weekends just aren't enough.  There is just too much to get at.  We are working in survival-mode only.

 Cilantro
("herbcicles" frozen in ice cube trays)

 Peas and beans

(blanched and dehydrated)

I have been brainstorming solutions for the past couple of weeks and realized what I need: HELP.  I need help.  Hilarious and overly obvious, but dude.  I need help.  

Then I remembered a conversation I had with the 18 year old daughter of my friend (the one who wants to be a doula and came to observe Eliah's birth).  It was on the way to a prenatal appointment; she said that she loves children and would be more than happy to help if I needed it (she also loves babies).  

At the time I didn't need any assistance, so I thanked her and said I would keep that in mind.  But two months later . . . I remembered.  Yo.  That hit the spot.  Help.  I need help.

So she'll be coming for a couple hours once a week to help out.  All I need her to do is hold the baby or play with the boys while I do a blitz on what-have-you.  I already made a list and it is mighty-long, believe me.  We are bartering her help for garden produce.  I am so pleased.  I've been literally daydreaming of all the potential.

 And we're still all loving to snuggle with our newest little guy.

This was taken after his first bath a couple weeks ago.

Awwwwww . . . the dimple. 

Truen still regularly asks to hold him,

which inevitably triggers Jamie to hold him next.

This was taken Saturday morning.  
Look how much fatter he looks in this picture!

Un-un-un-un

It is a beautiful summer day.  "A ten," as Blaine's mom would say.  Gorgeous.

We have 15 acres to explore.  We have ducks, geese, chickens; a sandbox, swing set, kiddie pool; the perfect climbing tree; butterfly nets, their "tipi house" fort in the trees, lots of space to run, and a little baby kitten that showed up to live with us last week.

And I just had to tell them to go outside and play.  That they wouldn't be coming back inside until lunch.  That there was no choice, they would absolutely be going outside.  For a good, long time.  Un-un-un-un.

Though I will say . . .

Right in the middle of writing this, the baby kitten came into the house while they had the back door open, finally giving us an enclosed space to get a hold of it.  I held it in a towel and caressed its head until it relaxed and then we all petted it quietly until it started purring.

Now they are parading around the yard with their new little kitten friend.  Formerly known as Benjamin Sparkle, newly renamed Polly Sparkle.

All it took was a little jump-starting.

Big Brudder, Little Brudder

Whew!  And there went another week.

Eliah's blissful long afternoon nap coordinating with Jamie's nap dissipated at the end of last week.  Up in a puff of smoke.  It was nice, really nice, while it lasted.  He hasn't quite settled into a solid routine yet, so I'm working on staying flexible and taking what I can get.

We moved the swing back down into the kitchen and I put him down to rock for a couple of naps each day or if I need to work quickly in the kitchen.  Otherwise, he usually takes at least one morning nap and an evening nap in the sling.  I like keeping him with me unless I need to bust a move and get some serious work done.

And . . . knock on wood . . . he's sleeping, by himself, in the bed, during Jamie's nap while the older boys are upstairs for QT.  The sweet bliss of solitude.  May it last the entire hour.

Just look at this big and little brudder --

taken yesterday on the 4th of July.

Eliah is 5 weeks old today.

 Givin' the old boy a smooch.

Isn't Jamie's hair pretty??

I put his bangs in a clip yesterday to keep it out of his eyes.

Now that the weather has warmed up,

I really need to give that boy his first haircut.

But when???

Awwwww . . .

This big brudder is so proud.

And check out that cleft chin.

A quick story about Jamie: 

Last week we went to the pool and park for the day.  It was the third or fourth time I've ventured out since the baby was born.  We stay home a lot.  On top of that, due to living so far "out here", when I go somewhere, I make sure it counts.  We left at 9:15 AM and didn't get home until 8:30 PM.  I know.  Insane.  

Chiropractic appointment, strawberry patch (no picking, I just bought a flat), fireworks stand, lunch with friends, pool, playground, pool again, out for dinner, home.  It was wild.  It went really well; I usually consider our van "home" for the day and make sure to pack everything, especially a lot of water and food and cloth wipes with a tea tree oil solution for our hands.

Anyway.  Jamie.  When we got home at the end of the day, he walked into the sunroom, looked around, and stammered, "Our house . . . our house . . . our house . . . our house beautiful."  (He was extra-cheerful because he had slept in the stroller at the park between the swimming sessions.)

I love that.  Getting a peak into his little mind and seeing that home is a place of happiness and security for him.  Sometimes it takes being away from home for a stretch of time to appreciate it fully.  The sweetness of it all.

And now for another set of big and little brudders --

 These fellas.

♥ ♥ ♥

Far away, so close.

I wonder if there will be a time when these memories blur?

I remember taking each of these pictures so well.

Their little faces . . . awwww . . . 
My tender mother's heart . . . it hurts a little.

Misc. postpartum notes

Oh my goodness.  This calls for a good old list post.

• Eliah will be 4 weeks old tomorrow.  One month!  I am amazed.
• I am approx three-quarters of the way through writing his birth story down.  After I'm done, I will start working on posting it here.
• He has started taking a long afternoon nap.  Hallelujah!  It used to be late morning, but it now coincides perfectly with Jamie's nap and the older boys' quiet time.
• I am so thankful for that hour of solitude.  Though now it is the only time I am able to take care of any particulars (paperwork, email, blogging, etc.) now that the evening hours are out the window.
• Yes: the Evening Crabbies have begun.  Isn't 3 weeks a bit early for that??  But the little fella is highly irritable at night and keeps us hopping.
• The only sure-fire way to snap him out of a crankfest is to put him on the washing machine where his makeshift "changing station" is.  We have watercolors on the wall that my MIL and the boys did a couple of years ago.  That combined with the door frame and the dark, red berry wreath is second heaven to Baby Eliah.  He stares and stares.

These pictures are from a couple of weeks ago,

but they are so sweet that I can't resist posting them.

 

 

Just for you, Ash ♥

• I am feeling very good, pretty much back to normal.  My main issue is getting enough water.  My honest-to-goodness goal is two gallons a day.  It seems like an insane amount, but I pay for it if I don't.  I drink water through the night as well, every time Eliah wakes up to nurse I guzzle as much as possible.
• My other issue is my own fault.  I am so sad about this, because I was almost done bleeding.  BUT.  This week I went into the basement and saw that the dehumidifier bucket was full.  I picked it up and carried it up the stairs and outside to water a plant without pausing to think, though I did notice it was starting to feel uncomfortably heavy a little over halfway through.  Dah.  I am so stupid.  I ripped open whatever healing had happened inside my uterus and started bleeding red blood again.  I bet I put myself an entire week behind.
• At least my body feels fine, but what a pain.  I have to be careful for even longer now and, worse, I don't have the luxury to just sit and lay around for the next week to speed healing.

 Kimchi ingredients assembled:

pak choi, radish, scallions, ginger, garlic, chili peppers, salt

 The entire bowl, 5.5 lbs of vegetables,

packed into this 3-liter Pickl-It.

 The results after a week-long ferment.

Not quite as pretty, but so, so delicious.

Blaine described the flavor as going up-up-up-up --

It just didn't quit.

On the transition from Three to Four --

• I've been told by several different people that once you go beyond three children, it is the same-difference.  The stress levels don't go up much after Three.  Though I'm only a month into it, this definitely seems to be the case.  
• Perhaps it is mostly because I'm used to the level of mania, so adding one more doesn't seem to be much of a deal.  Or perhaps it is because our routine is so entrenched by this point and this little guy is sliding into place so easily.  Perhaps it is my accumulated level of experience.  I'm not sure.  All I know is that it doesn't seem that strange.  It honestly feels rather . . . normal.
• Though I will say . . . Jamie.  That little rascal.  He's two and a half so I know it is normal, but ay-yi-yi.  He has been exactly what everyone says to me when I'm out in public, that "I have my hands full".  Yes.  I've had to work hard on keeping my patience with him and in some cases I have partially or mostly failed.  He's a stubborn little guy and doesn't bend easily.
• He's been getting into things like crazy.  On my first day solo, he pooped on the floor in the morning (an accident, but still) and ate all of Truen's green strawberries in the afternoon (not an accident at all).  Later in the week he found a stick of butter on the table and glopped it all over the place under the table. 
• Tables are his favorite place to hide when he's on the sly or being naughty.  If I see him under a table, I know I'm in trouble.  Add to that his sly, furtive glances and that coy look and the electrical pathways instantly connect.  He knows.  And I know.  That rascal.
• His other main issue has been getting into a funk for whatever reason (fill in the blank . . . it can be that ridiculous) and having a very hard time coming out of it.  Things usually dissolve into him being nasty and screaming at me until he spends some time strapped into his chair in the bedroom by himself until he is finally ready to be kind and respectful.
• Oh dear . . . in brighter news, he just learned how to put on his sandals by himself last week and has been working on dressing himself this week.  Perfect timing!  And he's so proud of his little self.

Angelically asleep

He'd have his "papo" all day long if I let him,

but I've kept it confined to resting on the loveseat in the sunroom.

• Along the same lines of the transition from Three to Four, I've found myself not as stressed as I remember being last time.  I honestly don't mind waking up to nurse several times a night.  I revel in the solitude and silence that time provides.  I love snuggling with him and seeing his sweet face in the half-light. 
• Nursing the baby throughout the day, carrying him around, sitting and holding him while he bops and bobbles on my chest, etc. isn't as much of a drain on me as it was the first time 'round.  Don't get me wrong: I loved it dearly, but it was a shocking transition to go from autonomous adult to baby-slave.  
• I must be used to it.  I think I am also reveling in things, knowing that time is fleeting.  My life will be "back to normal" soon enough, I know that.  I have decided to make the choice to take things slow and savor "just life".  Even if it means showering is a rare treat or getting dinner every night is a strain or I don't get to do "what I want to do".
• Zoinks.  I think I have matured as a mother.  It is a good place to be and even better . . . I know it is only up from here.  
• Now if only my body would stop aging while my mind and spirit progresses.

 Zombies.

 Isn't Diego's zombie outfit hilarious??

He was moaning and hobbling all around, 

totally cracking me up.

• All the boys are extremely affectionate with Eliah.  At times they will stop what they are doing just to comment on how cute he is and give him a little snuggle.  It warms the cockles of my heart.
• Diego and Truen are particularly helpful.  I have them sit with the baby when I need to shower or be quick about something.  They run and fetch things for me, or lug heavy items if I need it.  I've had them not just clearing their spot at the table, but clearing the entire table and wiping up their spots.  I've really appreciated their assistance and have tried to make sure they know that.
• We have one week left of our little homeschool.  After that, I am going to read one chapter a day out of Viking Tales, The Blue Fairy Book, The Burgess Bird Book for Children, and the DK Illustrated Children's Bible in rotation.  I'll plan on four days of reading with Friday as our "flex" day.  Something always comes up, you know.

Smitten

Yes . . . I am that busy.  No time to write, but take a look at some pictures.  In order of date, starting with a week ago last Sunday.  Baby Eliah is the sweetest most darling little fella.  Totally in love.

 Two weeks old with Mama

In the boys' "Tipi House"

 Two-ish weeks with Jamie

Sunning his wittle diaper rash

 Two-ish weeks with Truby

Waking up from another nap

 Three weeks old with Diego

Dramatic lighting from the storm that blew through

. . . one of my faves.

Snuggling with Dada at three-ish weeks

Another one of my faves . . .

The sweetness.

And then I made a big batch of kimchi

Saying goodbye to Grandpa and Grandma

So . . . here we are, two weeks postpartum.  Un-un-un-un.  My parents were here the second week and just left this past Friday.  They manhandled the house into submission inside and out, cooked all our meals, enjoyed their grandboy-ohs, and gave me the luxury of rest and the ability to savor my newborn.  Bliss.  I am so thankful for that time.  So thankful.

Blaine's mom came for a few hours in the morning almost every day the first week as well, allowing for a peaceful week of rest and enjoyment for all of us.  Instead of stress and distress (which was my postpartum recovery period with Baby Jamie), we actually enjoyed ourselves.  Blaine was outside with the boys most afternoons, playing badminton or the "throw the ball on the garage roof and catch it in the butterfly net" game.

My focus the past two weeks has been to rest and recuperate.  I've been vigilant about recovery this time, knowing what it is like if I don't guard myself.  So I've been sitting around, doing nothing but admiring my wee one.  I'm not even really reading anything while I'm nursing, something I've always done before.  I'd rather just soak this little fella in.  Time is short.

My gratitude to my parents and my MIL is immense.  Thank you so much!  Thank you for giving me time to heal.  Thank you for enabling me to enjoy and savor these precious first few days and weeks.  Thank you for taking such good care of all of us.  Thank you for loving us.

Physically, I feel "back to normal".  I honestly do.  Two weeks of rest has done me a lot of good.  I am light-years ahead of where I was with my postpartum recovery last time.

I am ready to face "real life" again......

 Pak choi and the cutest little fella ever

 Cilantro and parsley --

Subsequently chopped and frozen in ice cube trays

 A sink full of spinach
(Chopped, blanched, frozen)

This is what I did this morning during Eliah's morning snooze in the rocker.  With Blaine's help!  Don't ever think I did this alone.  Blaine went out before anyone else was up in the lovely morning sun and harvested both spinach beds, the cilantro and parsley, and 10 pak choi for kimchi.  Later in the morning, he washed and picked through it all as I chopped, blanched, and sorted.

The babe slept an extra-long block of time, so when Blaine went out to the garden to paper and straw (after picking scallions, radishes, horseradish, and burdock), I got started on the kimchi.  I completed it in three sessions and ended up with a 3-liter Pickl-It full of kimchi fermenting on the countertop.  I wish I had a picture of it.  It is so pretty!  Drat.  Tomorrow.

While we were working in the kitchen, the boys were working on their new "house".  They finally discovered a magical part in our grove of trees, just to the south of our East Garden.  The ground is covered in violets and lily of the valley, with trees leaning in on all sides that creates a canopy over a circle of space that makes it feel secret and special.  Both Blaine and I have had an affinity for it since we moved in, remembering that burgeoning excitement of hidden spaces and imagination.

It finally clicked for them this year.  Just this weekend!  We are so glad they finally "discovered" it.  They have played back there many other times, but it has never fired the imagination like it did this morning.  Finally.

 The entrance of what they call their "house"

There is a fallen tree, still rooted and growing, on the left

 They laid down straw to mark the trails --

Their idea and they did 100% of the work.  Un-un-un-un.

There was a ready supply, as Blaine was getting straw from the "raccoon barn" 

(due to a mummified raccoon carcass found at one point).

 They also hacked up last year's caveman's club and snake gourds

to make bowls and waterers and "mead horns".

The mead horn idea was inspired by

Viking Tales by Jennie Hall,

a book we are reading for our little homeschool.

The boy is named

::: Eliah Len :::

It took us 5 days, the longest ever.

His name is like a little sunburst in my mind --

I wake up saying it to myself at night, so happy.

Brand-new baby borealis, yet unnamed

 8 lbs 3 oz :: 22 inches long :: one hour old

Born at home at 2:13 AM on 5.31.13

He is the exact same weight (but an inch longer) than Baby Diego --

We think he looks a lot like Truen as a newborn.

♥ His hair is dark and little tendrils curl upward ♥

He has a good latch and took to nursing like an old pro.

The next morning: 

Meeting the two biggest brudders for the first time.

They were so excited!

We went to bed "as usual" last night and they slept through everything

They went to G&G borealis' for the day today . . . 
the solitude is divine.

 Big brudder Diego got to hold him first --

He ooooh'd and ahhhhh'd over all his little baby parts.

 Big brudder Truen held him second --

He was particularly interested in his little hands and feet.

 Big brudder Jamie held him third --

He tapped his little nose gently and seemed very interested and pleased.

 Surrounded by boy-ohs

First family picture --

I love all the action in this shot.

Jamie was cranky because we took his "papo" out.