Filled with sorrow

I've been crying all weekend and feeling very dismal. Squeeze's cousin, whose farm we took Lester to, emailed and said that they haven't seen him for a week or more. It was hard to part with him in the first place, but knowing that I will probably never see him again is enough to string my heart out on a line and keep my eyes brimming with tears.

My grand scheme was always to get him back when we go rural this summer; to be an outside cat in the country. He would have loved that. Now I don't even know if he's alive. He probably is, but I'll never know that for sure. Unless of course, he comes back... But the only familiar thing at the new place was his carrier and the blanket inside of it. Not people. Not anything but that. Is that enough to bring a stray cat home? I can only hope. It has really been eating at me since I read, and re-read, and re-read again, her email with the bad news. I am very upset. Lester!!!