It was 11:11 when I got on the computer this evening. A coincidence? Never!
I have been prepping for a big blow-out post on corn, the way this country eats, and the gargantuan ramifications involved; but it will have to wait, for I am too vexed on an entirely different subject [though becoming friends with Anna on Facebook cheered me a bit - so glad you found me]. What is bugging me is something irritating enough to make me blow a nut, and that is: parenting an almost-3 year old.
I mean really - could things be any more difficult? How many times in a row do I have to tell the kid to stop, or quit, or show me, or put your underwear back on, or please stop wiggling while I'm brushing your teeth, or put that stick down, or please get off of me, or get that out of my face, or stop hitting-kicking-rolling on-bumping into your baby brother before I get some action? How many times??? I swear, that kid has been in time-out more than he has been in time-in. My patience is wearing very thin; in fact, I'm not sure I have any left.
I've read (and noticed) that 2-3 year olds seem to have streaks of excellent behavior mixed with streaks of testy behavior. I've also thought that the times when I want to check out (like today) or when I'm pretty much expecting him to be naughty, he kicks it up a notch - either living up to my expectations, or, I presume, doing anything he possibly can to get my attention. I noticed myself trying to distance myself from him this afternoon - innocently enough: I wasn't reading or online, but simply sitting with the baby. And trying to remain calm. He had to be right next to me (in between me and Pumpkin) or ON me. It was enough to make me want to send him into another dimension - a vortex where he would be completely harmless and outta my face.
I guess this is what several days of on-again, off-again napping does - mixed with both children napping in succession on the days that he does sleep. Add that to the mess our house is in from the kitchen remodel last week. Ack! Everything has to be pulled out of our cupboards and cleaned [we are about 3/4 of the way done]. These ingredients brew a potion of angst and insanity for me, where I often wonder if I'm cut out to be a mother. Of course, I am being completely over-dramatic when I write that - but the helpless fury is there.
I need to go to bed ASAP - I've noted that days/weeks like these get worse when I'm over-tired. But dang - can't a girl get any down time? I just need to suck it up and stop sniveling. Talking about it (whether verbally or blogging) makes me feel so much better: it is like working poison out of my system.
Sometimes when I'm having days like these (yes, I have them from time to time, imagine that with four small children!) I ask Chris in the evening if I can go out for an hour or two by myself during their waking hours. I might go somewhere to sit down to a mocha and just read or something. Usually by the time I get home I am feeling like super-mom again, and I love my children all over again. Sometimes they need some space from us too and feel especially happy and glad to see me when I return.
ReplyDeleteJust remember, one day, when you get through these years, he will be a young man who can talk in full sentences and you will be able to reason with him. Until then we have to work on tying those heart strings so that they love, respect and trust us when we are all older.
Blessings! You are doing a great job!
Have I mentioned I love that you write things like this. I hope it does help to get it out because I can imagine how trying it is going to be. :) Find someone in that small town to baby-sit! ;) ANd take Blaine to see Indiana Jones. ;)
ReplyDeleteJenni and Emily...thanks for the words of encouragement (and good advice). It warms a mama's heart.
ReplyDeleteI do need downtime, and it isn't selfish. It is necessary for survival at times. The only thing is...too bad we moved to the boonies, where going somewhere at night involves a half-hour drive!! Doh.
And I mean the BOONIES.
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