News

My midwife and her apprentice came to our house today for our prenatal appointment: I have good news and unsettling news.

First, the good news:

• I am measuring right on target (up until this point, I was measuring a bit large). I suppose this could be considered neutral news, but I was pleased nonetheless.
• My leukocyte count was down to +25 from +500 last month. Not eradicated, but genuinely improved. I'm so glad, because I was starting to get disheartened with my slim-to-none carb & fruit diet. This gives me the drive to continue forth with renewed zeal. I am also starting to take Zymex in addition to my mondo probiotic. Let's kick some yeast-booty, Borealis.

Then, the unsettling news:

• The midwife noted that the placental tones are low in my uterus: she heard them all along the under-side of my belly. This could possibly indicate placenta previa -- a condition that requires a c-section for delivery, no exceptions. It is caused when the egg implants too low in the uterus and the placenta blocks the baby's way out. If the placenta comes out first, the baby dies from lack of oxygen. Enough said.

The midwife recommended that I have an ultrasound completed at the appointment with my back-up doctor (already scheduled for next Tuesday); through that, they will be able to see clearly whether I have an issue with or not. More than likely, I do not have this problem; the ultrasound's purpose would be to confirm it either way. Here's to hoping for good news! [My goodness.]

While the health and life of the baby is obviously the most important [duh], it would be devastating for me to have my baby through c-section. I would feel as if my powers were stripped from me, not to mention the fact that it is major abdominal surgery. I think this is a common reaction for women who have had c-sections (from what I've read). I know that it doesn't truly de-frock women of anything, but I can't help but feel mournful over even the potential of the event. I will try not to think of it over the next week -- there is no use worrying.

We were in Minneapolis over the past weekend; picking up the birdbath we left behind, going to stores we don't have access to in the Rolling Prairies, hanging with our BILs, SILs, nieces, & nephews, and attending Squeeze's 2nd cousin's wedding. It was very good to be back, if only briefly. I feel a firm emotional attachment to Minneapolis and while we've only been gone for approximately 2 months, I honestly can say I felt like I was home. I felt like that when we returned as well, once we got to our house. My heart is divided, but I don't feel stressed by it -- I think I actually like it. We stayed at our friends' house (they were out of town) and it was a wonderful, wonderful weekend.

Plumb disappointed.

Well! I over-cooked the plum butter; so much for my grand schemes and peacock-like vanity. It is so firm that it is more like candy than jam or butter. Sheesh. I followed the instructions, which indicated to cook it until it thickened, about 45 minutes. Well...my judgement of the appropriate thickness was after more like an hour and a half. Sheesh, again.

Needless to say, we were severely disappointed when Squeeze pulled it out tonight to spread on toast. Let's just say that there was no spreading. The stuff was unspreadable. I guess we all make mistakes, especially at the beginning of our journeys. Hey, hey, hey, that's me! Vain as a peacock and as silly as a goat.

Yesterday was 30 weeks. Only a couple of months to go!

Plumb Proof

Feeling proud of my Plum Butter, just as I thought. [Strange name, Plum Butter.] It came out to precisely 2 cups, as I predicted. Atta girl, Borealis.

She Laughs, Plum Butter, and YEAST

If you're looking for something to grapple with, please go to Carrien's recent post at She Laughs at the Days. I love this girl.

Meanwhile, I will continue to type out my usual fluff. Today I am making yogurt and plum butter. Squeeze's grandparents came to Southwestern MN for a visit this last weekend [they live in Western WI], bringing a gallon of fruit from their plum tree. The plums are extremely ripe; not necessarily good for munching on, so I thought I'd give preserving them a try. I won't end up with much - perhaps a cup or two - but I know I will still feel proud over my accomplishment. I hope to hone in on my food preservation skills over the years. It is so exciting to me, to know that I will actually have the chance to do this with fruits and vegetables grown on our own land. I don't think I ever felt this level of thrill with bought produce; I'm not sure why. Perhaps because I'd have to buy so much of it to actually do something big with it, or because I wouldn't have the fire under my butt of Use or Lose, or because I didn't work hard to get it, who knows. I can even see myself throwing over-ripe fruit away a few years ago, which my present-self is ashamed to admit. We travel many roads throughout existence, don't we? Always learning and changing...

In health news:
I am currently battling a systemic yeast infection. For anyone who noticed that my face has had a rash-like zit infestation on my chin (and then the bridge of my nose) for the past year, it was the yeast. Can you believe it? I have had virtually no vaginal symptoms, but my face has been a BIG problem. While I have a ruddy complexion, zits have been a rarity in my life until the last few years and extremely commonplace since last fall - especially the rash-like covering over my entire chin. It has been sickening and embarrassing; but because I've never dealt with yeast before, I was completely bewildered as to the cause. Within recent months, I have also had rawness along my upper gum line/inner cheek, with is another sign of a systemic yeast problem.

The last time I saw my mom (in May), she wondered of the potential of a yeast issue. I had been upping my B vitamins and taking acidophilus since the winter (in addition to the incredibly soothing apple cider vinegar baths), when I did have a vaginal yeast infection - which wiped that out, but did nothing for my face or mouth. Then, the last time we met with our midwife, she did a urine analysis that showed my leukocytes were raging - indicating a full-out yeast infection (again, with no vaginal symptoms). So I got serious. I've radically altered my diet over the last month -- zero white sugars [not much of a problem to begin with], virtually no fruit, very little carbohydrates. It has been terrible!! I didn't realize how many carbs I have been consuming: pasta, breads, cereals, corn, potatoes -- endless potatoes! And fruit! I miss fruit!! I can't have vinegar either, which I love. But all I was doing was feeding the yeast in my body. Ack. I am also taking a mondo probiotic -- no more wimpy acidophilus pills from the co-op. I went with a mega producer this time, with a number of strains of good bacteria. It cost a bundle (three times as much as what I was taking), but it will be worth it.

I have been eating a lot of brown rice, vegetables, eggs, yogurt, beans, cottage cheese, nuts, and some meats [I just can't hack too much meat, although I have made a killer buffalo meat loaf twice]. It has been tough, but I am seeing the results. My face is clearer than it has been in many, many months. The rawness in my mouth is disappearing, little by little. Seeing improvement has encouraged me in my daily battle of choosing what to eat. I have caved, but try to severely limit it; the carbs I have eaten have been spouted grain breads or whole wheat flour (in pancakes), and I have eaten some locally grown, stupendously delicious cantaloupe. Oh, and sour cherry jelly (alas, filled with white sugar) made by Squeeze's aunt on sprouted grain toast. It was divine.

I will prevail, you nasty yeast! Just you try to continue to thrive in my body -- you'll suffer a painful death from starvation, because I'm not feeding you. Good riddance!

My [first] cast-iron skillet

I bought my first cast-iron cookware this past week: a 12 inch skillet. [I can't believe I am so behind the culinary times, but it can't be helped.] I'm in love!

Good-bye toxic teflon, I won't be missing you. We are down to one small egg skillet and a waffle iron for teflon in our house (and have been for awhile). I plan to buy a small cast-iron skillet the size of Squeeze's beloved teflon egg skillet, and then begin the hunt for a cast-iron waffle iron. Then we will be teflon-free, hallelujah! In the case that someone may be unaware of the reason for my spite, it is because teflon releases toxic gases every time it is heated up; not to mention the icky flakiness of the non-stick coating as it ages AND the fact that the pans don't last very long or hold up to much intensity of use. Get it outta my house!

7 years

El fin

I stayed up into the morning hours to finish HP and the DH -- I knew I would just stay awake thinking about it if I stopped, so I threw caution into the wind and read like a maniac. I'm glad I did; it was excellent.

I kept the book near my side the entire day yesterday, reading it at any chance (Starbeans didn't nap, the rascal). It was very, very thrilling the whole way through. If anyone wants to talk about it, email me! I'm up for discussion. [I will be gone until mid-afternoon, though.]

Busy.

Can't post.
Can't write in complete sentences.
Can't think of anything but Harry Potter.
Can only read during precious naptime.
Must eat.
Must read.
Must stop waking up in the middle of the night, trying to figure out the plot.
Must continue to ignore spoilers.

Adios!

Cric-kets

The crickets seem to be working OT -- perhaps they chirp both day and night towards the middle-end of the summer?

Today is cool, so I am making chicken stock; it reminds me of the winter months, which led me to realize that fall is the only time of the year where I am not wishing it were another season. During summer, I wish it were fall or winter. During winter, I wish it were spring or summer. But during the autumn months, my, my, I'm thankful for every chilly-warm day I have. It is just lovely. Only a month to go!

And a month after that, I'll have a new baby...

Weird beyond belief.

Two years old

We had an almost all-week-long birthday celebration for Starbeans last week. We somehow rigged it so he opened one present a day, for four days (it was accidental, but it spread the fun out - and he's too young to care at this point). We sang Happy Birthday to him almost every day as well, which he loved. His birthday was last Monday, but here he was, last Friday, blowing out his candles for the family birthday party. He had so much fun (so did we). He is spending a lot of time singing, "Happy Day Day-go!" along with "Twinkle Twinkle Twinkle".

And yes, I made that yellow cake from scratch. I feel the need to brag! It was delicious; very buttery and the sweetness is much more subtle than boxed cake mixes. Down with the mix! Up with scratch, baby!!

Tragedy and Destruction

35W collapsed over the Mississippi River in Minneapolis last night - 64 feet above ground, 6:05 pm, rush hour, 50-60 cars on the bridge. I don't know how many times I've been over that bridge and never thought an ounce about it. Those poor people.

• Minneapolis Star Tribune -- various coverage
• Blanked Out -- Local blogger who lives right by the bridge, witnessed it all & participated in the rescue effort

Young Elderly Love

Remember me recently mentioning our 87 year old former neighbor, Wilburn? Well - he done got himself married this summer, the week before we moved no less. We got the invitation a week before the wedding; his sister and neice were informed the same week as we were, only he stopped by their house to tell them in person.

Wilburn n' Evy

Here they are, in all their wedding splendor. Aren't they cute? I really like how he wore a pink shirt to match her pink dress and I ADORE the outrageously large floral wreath adorning her head. It suited her so well; and it went with the cake, which I might add, was absolutely delicious and made by one of their pastors, Luisa. It was some kind of spongy peach something-or-other: tasty beyond reason.

Reflections on our new existence

It is strange how settled I feel here. It doesn't feel that peculiar to me to look outside and see barns and silos and corn. I find that fact to be very odd. After all, we've only been here a month! It might have to do with the fact that I lived with my parents in a semi-rural community for the last 5 years I was home; or perhaps it is because of all the reading and daydreaming I've done about living rurally throughout my existence; maybe it is because I spent many years visiting Squeeze's parents on their [former] 40 acres of woods in Wisconsin; or perhaps I am just unflappable. (I doubt it is that last option.)

Still: it feels, all in all, fairly normal. Sure, I've made trips to a farm to buy eggs and been appalled by the stench and filth of the way pigs really live. I also asked my neighbor today, who owns 50 ewes and 3 rams, "So you guys pretty much are Sheep Farmers, right?" Additionally, I can't identify the purpose of any of the differently-shaped barns or outbuildings. And I know I'll feel sorry for any kind of non-laying hen we may butcher in the near-distant future, no matter how good it may taste.

The point is, I like where I am. It amazes me. A month ago, when we were in the week-and-a-half limbo between closings, I wondered what on earth we were doing. Was I crazy? Did I really spend the last 6 months working towards this? Could I be happy? What were we thinking? For the record: even Squeeze, who has been scheming on this much longer and more seriously than I, felt similarly. It was the feeling of being uprooted, not being able to call anyplace home, that did it to us. We couldn't go back to Minneapolis, because someone was already living at "our" [their] house. We couldn't move into "our" farmstead, because someone was still living here in their home. It was a terrible feeling.

But now we are looking forward to the future with vigor; exciting plans unfold in our heads. Fruit trees, berrying bushes, and large vegetable gardens all dance in our heads. Squeeze recently discovered a cistern next to the nearest (and ugliest) barn. [15-20 years ago, our place was a fully operational hog farm -- the barn in discussion was specifically built as a farrowing barn. (The only reason why I know this term is because our neighbor told me.)] The barn itself is fully equipped with air movement, a heating system, and now, we've discovered, a cistern -- all key ingredients for a greenhouse. Furthermore, either of the dairy barns could be cleaned out and fixed up into retail barns; the chicken coop just needs to be aired out, cleaned out, and re-roofed; there are gooseberry and chokecherry bushes in the grove, waiting to be moved into a fully-lit location to burst forth with robust life; etc. etc. etc. We are very pleased with our new micro-environment. There is so much potential here; all it requires is a bit of scheming and a lot of work.

Gardens and gooseberries dance in our heads!

Feast and famine

We've been in some serious need of new dish clothes for many months now.

Case in point:

This dish cloth was actually used just yesterday. Seriously. Can you imagine wiping a toddlers after-meal hands with this? I did, yesterday. I wear my underwear into this state as well, as several friends can probably testify. I also hate shopping and I've been procrastinating because I'd like to buy some dish clothes that someone actually made rather than the boring rinky-dink ones (like above) that are Made in China. Or make my own. Or find some interesting old ones at a thrift store; but I think everyone pretty much wears theirs out, although perhaps not to the state of Example A. I've been getting rather desperate until today, when Squeeze unpacked yet another obscure box (this time, a wooden trunk from our 87 year old former neighbor, Wilburn).

In it was a gold mine of old bath towels, hand towels, kitchen towels, and dish clothes. Yesssss. We scored! Not only are they free and perfectly usable, but they are interesting, old, and carry sentimental value with their attachment to Our Wilburn. AND there is a pink kitchen towel with (of all things) a poodle on it.

Please feast your eyes:

Furthermore, we actually have the drawer space in our new house to keep them all together. In Minneapolis, they were divided up and only a few actually made their entrance into the kitchen. I am very pleased.

In other news, our town's library is as dismal as I first reckoned it to be. Not only is it one room, but it seems like a quarter of the kid's books are lame-o Disney stories and the adult selection consists mainly of grocery check-out romance novels, formula mystery & western novels, and (what I consider to be) the generally boring NY Times best-selling novels. Yawn. My favorite thing about libraries is to be able to browse amongst numerous interesting titles & covers and choose a book that intrigues me. I can honestly say that I was disinterested in every single thing I laid my eyes on. It was endless eye-rolls; I felt like a complete snob. I was plunged into an afternoon of despair on Saturday (in addition to not being able to avoid being the human jungle gym for Starbeans for most of the day). Ack - and this is what I have to resign myself to! Our home library is much more interesting than anything our public library has to offer.

Now, I know I can use the inter-library loan system; but like I said, I love being able to browse through actual books, not the catalogue. Maybe I'll get over it. (It's doubtful.)

Rid-dit!

I haven't posted a picture of Starbeans in quite some time. Here he is, with a frog his Dada caught for him. He was very pleased, as you might imagine. According to Starbeans, frogs say, "Rid-dit!". He will be 2 years old in less than a week. My sweet baby.

Belly picture

Here I am, at 27 weeks. Sorry about the cropped shot; I did it less for reasons of privacy and more for reasons of vanity. My head wasn't quite as cute as my belly and it therefore got the hack.

My mom sent me this dress today, along with another outfit. I am so glad, because with the last pregnancy I suffered in a few different shirts (hand-me-downs from a certain decade past) and a pair of too-hot rolled-down exercise pants. They just weren't me, but I wore them because they fit - and I would have suffered like that again. I hate shopping, except for thrift stores - and the maternity section at thrift stores is always horrific. [Not to mention the fact that it is almost impossible to go on a mission and find what you want when you want it; they are more of a snag-it-when-you-see-it kinds of places.] In addition, I prefer to wear dresses in the summer; I have a few skirts that still fit, but nothing substantial to speak of. And now I have this cute little ditty (of which Starbeans said, "Bubbles on it"). This, I like. Thanks, Mom!

No one can be more pleased than me; then a spiral into mournful reflection

I'm back!!!

It feels so good to be back online. I'll be posting much more regularly; probably every day, knowing all the thoughts streaming through my mind, with the earnest desire I have to stay connected with my cronies.

Here is a picture of our view from the north, taken last night. The field is corn; nothing but corn. The trees are part of what is called a "grove" out here. Before the land was conquered by Manifest Destiny, trees only existed along streams and rivers [maybe lakes as well?]. The grasses were so thick that little seedlings couldn't take hold, for reasons both of growing space as well as water. Now, most of the land is tilled and the ecosystem entirely changed [destroyed]. I've really been feeling quite mournful about it lately; it seems like nothing is left untouched by the Forces of Progress. I may seem quite naive in this arena, but I am only 29; I can imagine I'll be discovering life until I am dead. It isn't just the [out of control] expanding push of housing developments and strip malls that decimate the land. It is everything. It is people; and it saddens me. I am a part of it, because I am human.

A sea of corn

Nonetheless, the view is lovely. There are a couple of other farms in the distance, as well as a smattering of wind mills. The locals call them Wind Towers. Electricity producing, wind-propelled wind turbines. We live in an area called Buffalo Ridge, which is said to be one of the windiest spots in the midwest, maybe even the country (I need to do a bit more reading on that). There are literally hundreds, maybe thousands of wind mills throughout this area; they turn as the wind blows, which, I've noticed, can come from any direction on any given day. Maybe this is true everywhere?

Anyhow, it is electricity powered by nature. Quite exciting, although I must admit that they mar the beauty of the landscape. I'll have to take pictures of them closer up, so you can see what I'm talking about. This picture is exceptionally dark, as I took it last night, although my digital camera, which has come from the Age of Dinosaurs, has been dropped one too many times -- which may also be contributing to the picture quality. We are planning to buy a new camera in August (I can't wait).

I'm off!!! I need to get to the bank and the grocery store before Starbeans' nap.

Countdown

We will finally be connected back online this Wednesday. I can hardly wait. My most used tools for communication - email and blogging - have been all but wiped out for a month now. It is miserable! I'm at the library, again, of course; two women have referred to Starbeans as a little girl, even when the children with them recognize him as a boy. It is interesting how socialization seems to play a role in identifying gender. Because he has long curly hair, all the adults think he is a girl; but it seems like this kids know better.

This week, Starbeans has said, "The end!" when we've finished books; and, "Tow truck, ere aow ooo?" [Tow truck, where are you?] when looking for his self-fashioned "tow truck" made from a piece of toy fencing and a fire truck. The surprises never end; although I suppose that I shouldn't be surprised. 'Tis the season, after all: he'll be two in a week or so.

We are going to see our midwife today. I haven't seen her since May, so I am eager to have a check-up and hear her opinions on things. Moving while pregnant has certainly sped things along (figuratively) -- I'm hardly aware of what week we are even at, let alone remembering that I'm pregnant. I like not obsessing over it, although I have been lying in bed within the last couple days wondering about what it will be like to have a newborn again. I must say that I am really looking forward to it, even though I fret a bit about what it will be like to share myself with another child. I know it is possible, but sheesh...how is it done?

Another thing this move has accomplished is absolutely zero talk of naming. We didn't get truly serious about it until the end last time, but we had at least conversed about it throughout the pregnancy. With this pregnancy, I would say that we have talked about it a total of 2 times in 6 months. That doesn't add up to much.

I'll have more reflections on living in a rural community after I get back online. I need to to reflect and revise. The library is not conducive to that kind of thing -- it is more rush, rush, rush. Starbeans is very entertained today, which is nice. He is fiddling with books and stuffed animals.

A woman just mentioned that the new HP is out -- I can't wait! I think I'll be able to borrow my SIL's copy in a couple of weeks. I hope it doesn't get spoiled for me before then. You can bet that my entire family each has their own copy and will have their nose in it for a number of hours or days, depending on the person.

And now I say adieu. Adieu!

Still internet-less

Just checking in (at the library) to say...HELLO.

We bought a kite at a local coffee shop this past week. It is so cute -- one of the old-fashioned kite-shaped kites. We moved to one of the windiest spots in the midwest, due to the topography -- so the kite can lift off the ground and go sky-high with just one person. It has a little poison dart frog on it -- so cute.

Bah! I feel rushed and can't get my thoughts together. We should be back online by the end of the week, hopefully. Pregnancy is going well; Starbeans is changing almost every week. He started calling me "Mommy" out of the blue last week. It had always been "Mama" until that point, and now it morphed to "Mommy" most of the time. I like it, though -- it is so adorable. He is also singing songs that go like this --

Mama...Mama
Dada...Dada
Bupa...Bupa
Gramma...Gramma
Doey...Doey
Mimi...Mimi
Bupa...Bupa
Dada...Dada

and so on and so forth. The first Mama (or Dada, or Bupa, or Mimi) is always high and the second is lower. Doey is my parents' dog, Joey.

Internet deprivation

I have been without access to the internet for over 2 weeks. Ack! It has been terrible.

The short synopsis:

• We didn't get to move into our new place until Tuesday, July 3rd. There were all kinds of hang-ups with title easements -- we stayed at my in-laws for a week and a half. It was relaxing, but also quite discombobulating. We both felt completely uprooted, like we were going to be going "home" to Minneapolis after a long weekend of visiting. Starbeans, of course, loved being at Bupa and Gramma's house.
• Since we moved in a week ago, I haven't been able to leave the house. We only have one car; that worked just fine where we were before, but is going to be a bit of a problem where we are now. If I don't want to go stark raving mad, that is.
• Our town's library is open 3 days a week for 8 hours and 1 day a week for 4 hours; that is so much better than my in-laws' library, which is open 3 times a week for -- get this -- two hours. What a farce! I'd go nuts.
• We don't have internet access yet. I've been too busy trying to manhandle our existence under control. Unfortunately so, because I've missed it a lot. I do know that it looks like our monthly bill for high-speed internet connection will probably be twice that of what it was. Figures.
• This is so unbelievable, but it took us 6 hours to clean the kitchen and bathroom the first day we were there. Not to mention the rest of the house, but these two rooms were the most urgent. As my MIL said, the kitchen was as dirty as any normal kitchen that needed a yearly scrub-down, but it wasn't cleaned [for us]. Not by a long shot. I thought that it was a normal social custom to clean for the new arrivals??? We were quite perplexed, especially since our place in Minneapolis was spotless, right down to all the walls and windows being washed. Seriously.

I've got to run -- Starbeans needs me. I'm at the library; this is the first chance I've had at going online since June 23rd. Wow. I'm sorry if I've left you all hanging -- I'm sure I've left a few getting a little nutty with curiosity.