Tuesday, August 18, 2009

This happens all the time, right...?

So, in light of my last post, albeit rather dramatic . . . ahem . . . I'd like to un-announce my pregnancy.

Yes, that is correct. The friggin' doofus that I am, I'd like to un-announce my pregnancy. Take back. Renege. Recant. Withdraw. Retract. Un-announce.


Unbelievable. So yes, while most everyone thinks I'm happily humming through my twelfth week of pregnancy, I am here to say, officially, that I am, in fact, NOT pregnant.

I thought I was.

Yes, I thought I was, but I am not.

How is this possible? What it does explain is my lack of extreme exhaustion and need to eat like an overworked team of oxen. What it doesn't explain is the strange tightening of my waistband, the ever-present need to pee, sore nipples, and why I hadn't had my period since the end of May. Shoot, I just figured every pregnancy was different.

Things this past week were starting to feel a little goofy, like, shouldn't my belly be a little bigger than this? . . . and why am I not tired at all? . . . and most alarming, . . . blood. So we decided it was time to take a pregnancy test. [Ahem, a first for this time 'round . . . coughcough . . . mmmmph]


So, ladies, please: un-congratulate me. I am NOT pregnant. What I AM, however, is a complete and total nincompoop. This whole deal was announced to my entire family while I was home (too-good-to-be-true, everyone-in-the-same-place-at-the-same-time) and then, doorknob that I am, to the entire internet via my blog. Yes, I thought I was, but I am not.

Most definitely not.



Dani said...

You are so funny! Don't you just love how our bodies are so out of control sometimes and make us think crazy things?!?!? Good luck with everything though...and here's to hoping your energy levels return! It is not fun being dead-tired all the time! :)

Sandy said...

This is hilarious. I can totally see myself doing something similar. The good news for me is, we've been away all summer and I didn't get a chance to congratulate you. So, it's all good. Thanks for the morning giggle. (I've been so excited to be back and to get into the swing of things I'm struggling to sleep past 5am) Sandy