Blaine works with a guy who is the king of all stooges. He's our age and a great talker, but reality proves to be much different. Seriously. Working with this guy is like mining gold for prime sitcom material. He could easily be on Seinfeld.
He is very proud of his yard. Very proud.
A year or so ago, his neighbor made some comment to him about "keeping up with the Joneses" in reference to his yard. I can't remember why. The next day he came into work and told Blaine the story, totally pooh-pooh-ing his neighbor and said, "I don't know who these Joneses are, but I know my yard is way better than theirs".
He loves comedians and will listen to their acts over and over again in the office. He also loves to flirt with women in their mid-twenties that come into the warehouse. And yes, he's married.
Just yesterday, he recited a comedy routine verbatim to one such lady visitor. It was a routine about "unsweetened tea" and why on earth companies market tea as unsweetened when they don't have to take the sweetener out; why don't they just call it "plain tea" instead of using a polysyllabic descriptor in their tagline?
Verbatim. Blaine has heard the routine 10-15 times and this guy recited it word for word. He can't even come up with his own material.
The woman laughed throughout his "routine" and afterwards giggled, "tee-hee-hee . . . what does polysyllabic even mean??"
And his response my friends, is gold. Pure gold. He stuttered and said, "Ehhhhh . . . errrrrrrr . . . . uhhhhhhhh . . . . why don't they just call it plain tea?!"
Oh yes, he did. Or should I say, "Oh no, he didn't". Un-un-un-un.
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