My head is a-swirl this morning with what I've learned in recent time, both resounding and insignificant.
Blaine is home this week. We are getting up well before the crack of dawn and enjoying the solitude; he in his nest in a lamp-lit basement with the fire blazing next to him, me on the main floor next to the piano and our enormous bookshelf, lit by the art-deco panther lamp. The fellas haven't been waking up until 7:00 AM, even Yiya. The space for reflection has been blissful.
He is reading Galileo's Daughter by Dava Sobel and watching Roman Polanski films on his sister's old laptop. I am working through a book of poetry on grieving and loss and reading Jane Eyre. Many of the poems make me cry, but it is good to connect and understand more.
But: what I have learned.
......that just because I am not doing something now, doesn't mean I won't be able to implement it in the future. What a HUGE asset this understanding is under my belt in motherhood. I am not sunk because I haven't read Les Miserables or [insert amazing book here] aloud, nor because I have yet to implement a two hour afternoon quiet time for reading and reflection. Shoot, we've never even had a full-sized Christmas tree. There is time for all of it. So many things are worked into, not instantly implemented. They grow and change, and so the does the rhythm and routine around them. I am their steward and shepherd.
......that accepting children for what they are is very freeing. I remember feeling this very profoundly when I realized that there wasn't anything wrong with Baby Truen, he simply wasn't Baby Diego. (Serious and Reserved vs. Super-smiley and Outgoing) This was very confusing to me his first year. They are all different; how could they not be? And as they grow older, tactics and methods that work for one are less effective or useless with another - and that is okay. It is up to us to figure them out. X isn't a mutant because he doesn't respond how I would or how I've seen his brothers do it. They are who they are and it is our job to meet him there.
and not thoughtful at all....
......that all I need to brush my teeth is baking soda and a drop of Sweet Fennel essential oil. With maybe a little salt mixed in. We ran out of tooth powder last week and won't be able to get it for another week. In the meanwhile, Blaine bought a toothpaste that I find unpleasant. I thought about it a bit, then decided to take an ulterior route and I have to say, I'm a big fan.
The snow is thick at our house and the bird feeders are flocked by squirrels and winter birds.
It feels good to be at home. It feels good to think.
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