Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone?

The last couple of days, Starbeans keeps pulling down old photo albums to look at. I've been leafing through them and have been in shock that we lived a full 5 years of marriage and almost 4 years before that without our little munchkin. Can it be? Memories are flooding back and I remember...life before baby. It was good. It is strange to me that I barely remember it until I see a visual reminder. Life is good now as well, but very different. I look at pictures of our apartment and think, "Ack! A baby would tear that place apart!" Ah, yes...life is different.

One thing that particularly struck me was how great I looked. Why did I worry that I wasn't up to par when my skin was so clear and fresh and young and smooth? Feelings of doubt certainly didn't dominate my thought-life then, by any means; but it lurked in the shadows. Ridiculous. I should be listening to myself present-tense, because I know I'll be saying the same things 5-10 years from now. Damn, I look good.

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