Friday, December 30, 2011

List-posts are easier too

  • I realized last week that I really don't like oatmeal, even Eggy Oatmeal, unless it is well-slathered with coconut oil, applesauce, yogurt, and walnuts down to the very last spoonful.  Otherwise, gag me . . . I just can't hack it.
  • I have recently mastered Vegetable Beef soup.  What a delight!  I will have to post the recipe soon.
  • There is no snow - none a'tall - on the ground in SW Minnesota on December 30, 2011.  Un-un-un-un.  We are having what they call a "dry winter".  My past-self would have never believed it, but I am really pining for snoooooooow.  I feel like it would nourish my soul to see a winter wonderland outside.  But it is just brown, brown, brown everywhere.
  • Though this "dry winter" does make moving around so much easier.  It has been so warm that I haven't had to fuss with boots, hats, mittens, scarves, snowpants, etc.
  • I have started noticing the tunnel-vision that comes with having more children and older, more active kids.  I hardly have the time or energy to focus on anything outside my own little sphere.  It is the strangest thing, something I'm not quite used to yet. 
  • Things like . . . as an extrovert, for the very first time in my life, I am starting to cringe when we need to go somewhere, especially if there will be a large group of people in attendance.  It is so different from my usual mode of operation.  I've never even had inklings of this in the past.  Ever. 
  • It is so foreign . . . but staying home is just so much easier.  Calmer.  Safer.  Less aggravating.
  • I've been thinking a lot about these changes recently.  I feel like I'm just starting to grasp an understanding of WHY.  I wrote above "as an extrovert", i.e. one who draws energy from others.  I am an extrovert.  Historically, I get my energy from interacting with others vs. my own self.  But that's just it.  I am with my children all day, all night, every single day.  Of course I love them.  But I expend a lot of energy meeting their needs and interacting with them.  And things seem to get wilder the more of 'em there are (how did my mother-of-five ever do it??).
  • So as time goes on, I've found that I need down-time.  Time to sit and think and stare.  I need it.  Not just "it's nice", but I absolutely, positively NEED down-time to contemplate life and re-connect with myself.  I feel unkept and ragged without it.
  • Strange (and yet so obvious). 
  • Interestingly, with this realization I have been cultivating a deeper sense of comprehension and respect for Blaine.  (Time alone is something that is vital to his soul.  Going places with gaggles of people isn't his idea of fun.  He loves to be hunkered down at home.  Etc.) 
  • We've been together for 15 years now (married 11 of them) and I am still digging down to deeper layers of understanding.  It feels good.
  • Speaking of Blaine, he had M-Th off this week.  We've had a lovely "stay-cation", what feels like the first real leisure we've had since last spring (which may simply be just a state of mind, because we did have a 4-day weekend over Thanksgiving . . . but it wasn't relaxing at all). 
  • We've stayed home every. single. day. (big suprise) and have done nothing but basic household maintenance and hanging out together as a unit.  It feels so. good. 
  • We missed him today, but we have another 3-day weekend starting now (he just got home).  And that feels very nice as well.
  • 10-4, roger that, over and out.

No comments: