Pan :: Pancake :: Pantsy :: That Lil' Rascal

Our Jamie is almost 4 years old.  How did that happen??  He's been saying the funniest things recently.  Little tidbits that make me drop everything and run for a pen ASAP.

:: "Mama, there's a lot of dragonflies in our town . . . in our universe . . . in our Minnesoter."

~ Sitting on the sunny front walk in September, with peanut butter smeared all over his face, watching the dragonflies zoom over the driveway.

:: "This is one of the rarest things I've ever seens."

~ Showing Blaine Diego's 'Monster Fighters' Lego set.  "Rare" being a very common description these days with our fellas.  Mostly about Lego pieces.

:: "I'm not hungry anymore . . . I ate my cat food."

~ After a recent and unfortunate trend in consuming cat food.  Blaine had just found him eating handfuls of it.

:::

Jamie (with dramatic sadness): "Mama, Gramma said I couldn't wash dishes when we were butchering"

Mama (with tenderness): "Oh yeah...?"

Jamie (even more dramatic, doe-eyed and pouty-lipped): "Yeah.  I almost went outside to get helded."

Mama (melting heart): "Oh . . . it must have scared you?  So that you needed to get helded?"

Jamie (resigned): "Yeah.  And I really wanted to wash dishes."

~ A morning a week or so after butchering.  Blaine's mom was holding down the fort inside, including managing the hot water and caring for Jamie and the baby.  Washing dishes just wasn't in the cards that day.

:::

Jamie: "I love looking at the snow, Mama."

Mama (gooey heart): "Me too."

Jamie: "Tim is nasty, Mama."

Mama: "Tim is nasty??  Why?"

Jamie: "Because of all the snow on the road that he blends down!"

~ Our neighbor Tim faithfully plows our driveway every winter.  "The road" = our driveway.  We already have a thick blanket of snow for the season.  Un-un-un-un.

Gutting the toy mess

It is snowing today, with wicked winds from the north.  We were gone this past weekend in the Twin Cities and Wisconsin, visiting our SIL & kids and Blaine's grandparents.  It felt good to be together, away from the feelings of pressure to "get something done" at home.  We laughed, nuzzled, talked, connected, cried a bit (just me), and enjoyed everyone's company.

Things on the home front are feeling more ordered.  The boyz and I are thriving under the newly implemented structure of Morning Chores and Morning Lessons; this combined with my cut-throat attack on the play table and the space afforded by our new bookshelf, things are feeling mighty fine.  Instead of feeling whipped around in the swirling eddies of chaos, I feel strong, like I have a handle on our time and space.

It is so interesting to me, how narrow my focus in life has become.  As a homeschooling mother, my world is confined within these four walls.  All of my mental, physical, and emotional energy is used to maintain our household, keep us clean and fed, and cultivate our children.  I am fascinated by the fact that while what I am doing is not at all what I would have ever expected to "be" "when I grew up", I am completely satisfied and extremely engaged by it.  Expectations formed by cultural undercurrents are not at all what I have found life to be; or at least, not what I have found satisfying in my own life.

In regards to the TOY MESS.  I'm fairly certain I have removed 75-80% of the glut.  I have gone through everything 4-5 times now, sifting and gathering, sorting and shifting.  I was completely heartless and got rid of more than just mismatched riffraff and plastic toy bits.  I gathered many different sets that don't get played with or fall into the "too much of a good thing" category.  Do we honestly need so many toy instruments?  Or two sets of Melissa and Doug toy food?  18 billion plastic farm animals?  Three zillion toy trucks?  No.

 What we've been living with for the last two years

All the sifted toys are sitting in boxes in the basement, mostly sorted.  The next step is to go through everything and finish bagging up the various sets.  I keep finding more pockets of hidden toys throughout the house and I refuse to laden our small-town thrift store with a mismatched blow-out.  We have all the pieces (or most of them) and I want to keep them together for the next person.

But the most amazing thing by far is that NOBODY MISSES THE TOYS.  Diego has commented on how nice it is to have less to clean up.  Jamie and Eliah, who have never had the chance to play at the play table in their entire little lives, are making full-use of the space.  It's like an entirely new world opened up for them.  Even Diego and Truen have been playing on or around the table.

I've kept select vehicles (trucks, tanks, tractors, boats, airplanes), all the action figures, the best of the musical instruments, the wooden food set, the Imaginext dinosaur set, select stuffed animals, a few inside balls, the two little "car" riders, the doll house, hospital and parking garage.  Everything else is getting the boot.

[This is such a laugh, because we still have our wooden block set, the Duplo blocks, Magnetix, Tinker Toys, Lincoln Logs, all the costumes, and the multitude of Legos (sets and miscellany).  These toys are all stored on various shelves and qualify in the "use, then put away" category.  We still have SO many toys.]

 In process

It looks cleaner, there is less to clean up, toys are actually getting use played with, with more space to play in, etc., etc., etc.  I could gush for hours.  Less is really more.  And I am going to be vigilant about it from now on.  I refuse to be swallowed by a toy mess that has taken a life of its own, ever again.  Less is more.  Less is more!

It has also taken me down the path of reexamining all areas of our household.  Our book collection, the holiday closet, other areas of storage.  I am done with sentimental ties holding me down to stuff.  Some of it I will keep, but the days of accumulation are done.

The Semi-annual Pumpkin Picture

 

My two favorite shots - #18 and #31.  Blaine went bananas behind me to keep their attention while I snapped away (thank goodness it wasn't another 2012).  Often the very first picture is the very best, but not this year.

We didn't carve pumpkins last year.  I can't remember exactly why, though I think it may have been the combo of new baby and no pumpkins from our garden.  Or maybe it was too cold?  Or could it have been that we were too upset about my BIL's cancer?  I honestly have no memory.  I don't even remember being sad about it.

This year Diego and Truen carved their own pumpkins.  In typical fashion, Diego imploded and stomped off all upset in angst and sheer disappointment, as carving was harder-than-it-looked and things-weren't-perfect, while Truen patiently worked toward the end goal without a hitch.  Jamie wanted a "mad-looking" pumpkin and Eliah was just happy to mingle.  The feathers strewn around are the remnants of butchering from the previous weekend.

Years' past for all our viewing pleasure:  

2012

2011

2009

2008

Like the crack of the whip, I snap attack

I am on a major reorganization and de-cluttering binge.  MAJOR.  I have had enough. 

Let me count the ways:

• Sorted through sock and undies drawers, the pajama drawer: match, storage, thrift
• Cleaned the wooden shelf formerly in storage in our quonset (gutted from Blaine's parents' kitchen after their remodel), brought to the basement, organized ALL boy shoes, sandals, mud boots, snow boots by like-kind and size.
• Vacuumed, sanded, painted the exterior, then cleaned the innards of a gargantuan bookshelf, again, formerly in storage in our quonset (and a library shelf from the old-old library in Small Town, MN, the nostalgia).  This sucker is is probably 8-9 feet tall and 4-5 feet wide, solid wood.  Un-un-un-un.  It comes inside to electrify our book organization this weekend.  I can't imagine ever needing another bookshelf (if we keep our collection within reason).
• Started sorting through the DUMPSTER we call our play table.  Goal: to get rid of 75-80% of our toy collection.  It will be a many day process: my plan is to sift, sort, toss, organize, then haul the excess to the thrift.  I already have two gigantic boxes filled to the brim.  Vengeance is mine.
• ATTACK the mess in the upstairs storage room (ebay, mending pile, seasonal clothing): buy a new shelving unit, sort, organize, put away.
• Clear the MESS atop my dresser (in disarray from the last disaster, i.e. "Don't climb the dresser drawers", otherwise known as, "Jamieeee!  Ohhhhhh nooooooo!" in slo-mo, already at least a year ago).  The days of pretty display are done: this is survival.  Sort, put away for future intrigue.  Leave out a few necklaces and earrings.
• Start getting ruthless with my clothing glut.  If it doesn't fit right, get right of it.  If I don't really like it, get rid of it.  Sort by season and store in the off-season (I already started this last year).

Much of my inspiration was fueled by the deep-clean on our kitchen last June done by my mom and myself.  It was so refreshing and I have been reveling in it these many months.  Thanks, Muver.

Listening to a podcast from The Art of Simple last month kicked things into high gear.  I am on a crusade.  It's time to get radical.

She sings; she reads; she loses her temper

The mother is a world of great mystery.  She loves; she does all kinds of interesting things throughout the house; she sings; she reads; she loses her temper; she may be as peaceful as a summer evening or a whirlwind of fury.  But she is always the mother, and her love for her children, even when it is shot through all the flaws of her character, will be a human love.  It may be far from perfect.  [But it will be something real.]

~Anthony Esolen
Ten Ways to Destroy the Imagination of Your Child

This description struck me when I read it.  It is within the context of his "recommendation" to put all children in full-time daycare, to replace the mother-child relationship with a worker-client relationship, written in extremity and entirely tongue-in-cheek, of course.

The picture he paints resonated on a deep level with me.  I love the romance and reality all rolled into one.  A mother, as peaceful as a summer evening or a whirlwind of fury.  Yes.  I've been there.

This book was an amusing and thought-provoking read.  He presents sound observations on life and culture that are worth contemplation; within the realm of growing children, definitely, but more expansively, on the needs and desires of the human soul.

It unfolded as if it were planned

I've been thinking back to previous food preservation seasons and have realized something: I didn't feel as stretched this year.

It has a lot to do with the lack of big tomatoes and tomatillos - I did just one batch of salsa this year instead of the usual 4-5.  And another biggie: cabbage.  An unfortunate blow-out.  Again, just one batch of sauerkraut instead of the usual 4-5.

But I think it also has a lot to do with these guys.

 

Our oldest: Diego and Truen, ages 9 and almost-7

(Exploring the dry creek bed southwest of our place)

Looking back over the past year, I can see that we have been building up to the concept of Morning Chores and Evening Chores.  I didn't even really realize I was doing it.  It started with the cat litters last winter.  In the spring I added emptying the dishwasher every morning.  In the summer they started folding and putting away their own clothes each week.  This fall they started emptying and refilling the goose and duck water troughs every night.

It has been amazing.  Not only is it a relief to us in the fact that it takes a bit of the load off of our shoulders, but the boys are stepping up to the plate and accepting responsibility.  I am so pleased about it.

In our experience thus far, there have been a few keys to success:

• Consistency.  They do their chores every morning before breakfast.
• Teamwork.  I have them do everything together so it doesn't overwhelm them.
• Dessert!  We made chocolate mousse to celebrate their takeover of the bird water from Blaine.

They are also very keen on the idea of a $50 a year allowance as a reward for their efforts (I can't remember what that breaks down to per week).

So when I look around, things aren't quite as overwhelming as they have been in the past.  Instead of feeling like absolutely everything sitting squarely on my shoulders during the day, there has been a bit of a reprieve.  It is such a relief. 

And by writing this out, I came to realize that the boys have taken over two chores apiece from Blaine and me.  Cat litters and bird water from Blaine and dishwasher and folding clothes from me.  Awesome.  Next on the agenda: cleaning the bathroom sink & mirror and vacuuming.

2014 Apple-picking

There aren't many apples in the middle, but climbing is fun.

 Jamie wanted up so badly . . .

 

And another little feller did too.

 "Bountiful Harvest"

I've been so amazed by apples this fall.

What a gift!

Orchard scenery: this year we have 5 geese, 5 ducks, and 8 chickens. 

 The geese are grazers and keep the grass nicely clipped.

They seem to like Blaine, but haaaate the boys and hiss at them.

There are three Embden and two White Chinese.

 We have to herd the geese and ducks in every night --

Eliah is showing exactly how it is done, arms outstretched,

though we usually have brooms or toy bats in hand to widen our span.
I always bring E-yi-ya in the backpack when I do it, so he knows. Cute.

 Ducks are so funny!

Swedish Blue and Swedish Blacks
We have been getting beautiful grey eggs from them.

 And while we were at it, we picked the rest of the pumpkins and squash --
This van is used like a truck to haul things like wood or straw.

 The fellas with their Da

 With Mama

 Bzzzzzzzzz

 "What big eyes you have, grandmother"

And even bigger!

Reflection

Nuzzling E-yi-ya

The inspiration to blog always hits during impossible times.  My mind is scattered and nothing comes when I actually sit down to do it.  This might have something to do with three fellas going bonkers down the hall: Diego, Truen, and Eliah.  Jamie is blissfully asleep and this is the remnants of my Quiet Time.

I've found that my mind has decreasing amounts of available space for . . . what?  I'm not sure.  I feel like my memory is not razor-sharp anymore.  I need to write things down to remember anything cohesive, even thoughts.  I was thinking about it in the shower this morning and wondered if it is the proverbial "loss of brain cells" or perhaps the increase in demands, but this morning in the shower what made the most sense to me was the disproportionate lack of reflective thought in my life.

Another possibility is the lack of focused attention, at least while I am sitting down and wanting to reflect.  I usually feel like a deer in the headlights, wondering about my time. But when it comes to the duty of life I am very focused, driven to keep our life in under wraps: food, order, cleanliness, peace.

Ah well.  Enough complaints.  This weekend we watched a few videos from years gone.  It was amazing to see all those little people that I love so much, even smaller and younger than they are now.  That time is so close, but yet still gone.  It made me remember to not let the angst get me down, because time is precious.  Don't waste my time on the negativity, embrace it all.  Savor the moments.  Hug those little bodies.  Laugh with them.  All the cliches, yes, but all so, so true. 

Ye olde list post

So many thoughts, so little time.  I defer.

• We are still finishing our 2013-2014 school year.  In my mind, I have likened it to a rattle-trap car just barely holding together, huffety-puffety, rolling into the finish line with a bing-bang-pop.  In other words, barely making it.
• It is not unlike the poor guy we saw on the other side of 35W on our way to Luuuuke and Katy's wedding "back in the day": his car smoking and bouncing to a stop, the left front tire missing, him holding on for dear life as his car fizzled and zizzled to the side of the road.  A few seconds later we saw his tire cross all eight lanes of traffic.  (It was hilarious at the time and still makes me smile to think of it.)
• This is exactly what the last bit of our school year feels like to me.  We are bouncing in to the finish line, totally worn out and hoping just to make it to the end.

 A common scene in recent weeks

• I feel like "keeping up with life" (whatever that means) has become almost impossible with four children.  Honestly, I feel like I've been pushed over the brink.  Anything beyond survival is a luxury at this point in time.  Even now I feel a little bit frantic, wondering if I am using my time wisely.  It leaves me feeling off-kilter.
• It is funny, because I look back on past posts and see myself iterating similar feelings.  Overwhelm.  Swamped.  No time for contemplative thought.  And when I read these things, I poo-poo my past self, feeling like things have ratcheted up a notch or ten.  Oh yeah, I tell myself, you ain't seen nuthin' yet.
• Though I do remember from past experience that having a baby in the 12-18 month range (in addition to the extremely active activity level of multiple children) adds a lot of strain.  Not because that age is horrible, quite the contrary, but that they are into everything, have no sense to keep themselves safe, and aren't able to run with the big boys yet.  It makes getting "anything done" very hard.  Bless his little heart.  I keep on reminding myself to hold on and not wish time away.  Things will even out in time.
• I'm working towards being more even-tempered and flexible.  I want my children to remember a happy mama, not a strained-glum-can't-wait-til-QT mama.  I think my fears play on the perception of myself, because I do think I spend most of my day mostly cheerful and patient . . . though the constant push to accomplish my enormous weekly bucket list is always weighing on me, especially in the mornings, and I know it effects my general aura.

 

This scene lasted long enough for a picture 

• The more experience I gain, the more I understand that "for everything there is a season" and constant adjustment is necessary.  I know that, but I'm always surprised to identify that need in my daily, weekly, monthly, yearly life.  Not many rules or routines last for long before becoming outdated.
• So with that in mind . . . my new-and-improved concept of MORNING CHORES and the boys' responsibility in household maintenance.
• Morning chores: morning board, empty dishwasher, fold laundry (Mon/Tues), cat litters (M/W/F), get dressed, brush teeth.
• Household maintenance: before-lunch clean-up, pick-up after play, assigned tasks to help me/us (i.e. picking tomatoes, taking diapers off the line, loading or unloading the washing machine and dryer, etc.)
• I am planning to get more structured in this dept. with a flip-chart peg board that my SIL gave me.  I don't want to constantly remind them to stay on task (it drains my reserves).  My idea is to require morning chores to be completed by 10:00 AM every day, fueled by individual and team competitions - hopefully fueling their enthusiasm for sticking with the plan.  After brainstorming rewards, I came up with special meal or dessert requests for individual goals met and a Friday morning smoothie or eggnog for team victory.

 Jumping off the dock at our friends' family's weekend retreat

• Swimming turned into a bi-weekly event this summer.  I aim for Fridays and stay all day, packing loads of food and water to keep us steady.  It is perfect, because by the time we get home Blaine has had a bit of time to himself and the boys are so tired it makes very a very calm night.  Then they sleep in the next morning and have a peaceful day reacquainting themselves with home.  It is so relaxing.
• The last couple of days have been cold in the morning, beautiful sunny days with no humidity and warm afternoons.  I realized this morning that it is late summer.  I can't believe it!  It seems like it went so fast.  It has been a very cool summer, so it felt like I spent most of the time waiting for it to warm up and actually feel like summer.  We've had a few days with warm nights, and then poof . . . it's almost done.

 On our driveway

• The boys and I went on a good number of walks in the past month.  It is amazing what slowing down does for the quality of observation and depth of appreciation for one's surroundings.  "Driving by" does not do the world justice.  But walking . . . what a difference . . . to feel the breeze playing on the skin, hear the insect and bird life, take in the the scent of the fields and flowers, even getting a better hold on the trees and sky, letting it all seep in.  It is beautiful.
• With two little guys and two big guys, our walks consist of Diego riding bike, Truen walking, Jamie sometimes-walking, sometimes-riding, and Eliah sometimes-riding, sometimes-backpacking.  We have a rinky-dink Schwinn bike trailer that is perfect to fit three of the four boys at a time if need be (Truen is still small enough).  It is perfect.
• Re: the Schwinn.  Buyer beware: it is worth investing in higher quality.
• But nevertheless, it has been a blessing.  I love having a stroller big enough to haul multiple children and the big wheels make pushing it a breeze.  We even went for a bike ride as an entire family this weekend, Blaine hauling Truen and Jamie, Diego biking, Eliah in the backpack with me, to the graveyard a mile from our house.

Posing by the tomatoes

• Two local ladies and I are starting a homeschooling group in our small town.  There are plenty of homeschooling groups in the larger towns around us, but there are a lot of homeschooling families in our area and honestly, why drive a half-hour or more when we can cultivate what we want right here where we live?  In addition to keeping our activities local, we will be keeping our children's friendships local as well, which bodes well for more frequent interaction and visiting.  It's a win-win-win.
• One of the ladies is the wife of the new pastor at the Baptist church in town.  That particular church has a "half-gym" and so we are kicking off our group by organizing a bi-weekly homeschoolers' open gym.  I am so pleased.  A place for my fellas to run off some winter steam (and a five minute drive)!  Awesome.
• Other organized activities will probably follow.  We are planning to "go with it".  Whatever happens, happens and if it doesn't, that is fine too.  It will be very loose and flexible, with people planning activities as the inspiration or need arises.   But I have a hunch: one of the women I am working with is very gifted in organizing activities so I assume that we will have a good start in the near-distant future.
• It will be interesting to see what happens.  We already have five interested families, but I know that is just scraping the surface of the potential.

 Eliah does this funny tight-fist shaking thing that makes us all laugh

• Even as our school year is puttering to an end, I am planning our new school year.  I plan to take September off, reading aloud sprinkled in here and there, then pick up again at the beginning of October.
• This will be Truen's first "official" year: first grade.  I've had him participating at 75% for the last two years, then full-on 100% for our history reading and activities from The Story of the World.  Overall, he's done very well.  When I can sense that something is too much for him, I ease off a bit.  But otherwise, he's been tagging along through pretty much everything.
• My plan is to do a modified version of Year 1 from Diego's first year.  I'm not sure if I will read to him/them separately (everything but SOTW) or if I should still combine everything.  I honestly don't know what to do at this point in time, because I see pros and cons either way.  At this point, I assume that I will attempt to continue a combination approach, then adjust as neccessary.
• I will say though: looking at the initial schedule for this year left me feeling a bit faint.  I'm not sure how to fit it all in, especially with a very LOUD preschooler and a very BUSY toddler.  I don't have much in the way of concentrated time to sit or speak in leisure.  I'm usually trying to make my voice heard above the exclamations and hollering.
• That being said, I have honed in on a few tactics that give me at least a little bit of time.  First and foremost, looking for an opportunity in the morning.  Are they quiet?  Are the younger ones absorbed in anything?  Secondly, snacks.  Giving them food keeps them quiet for a few minutes while I read aloud.  Thirdly, special toys or crafts: things that they don't have continuous access to.  I can sometimes get a good 10-15 minutes of absorption from them, or should I say, Jamie.  The three year old.  Holy smokes.  It will be interesting to see if anything lets up this coming year as he grows and changes.

 Gramma S. shopping the Farmers' Market

• Finally: September.  Harvest season.  I'm already feeling the burn.  I look toward it with mixed feelings, thankfulness for the bounty and the dread of knowing the amount of work it will take to put it up.  It will be interesting to see if next year will be as overwhelming as this year feels.  I'm not afraid of the work, but I do feel strained at the thought of trying to "fit it in".  Eliah still needs me so much, it is hard to be separated from him for the length of time each work day requires.  Likewise, it is difficult to keep the pace with so many interruptions and distractions.  It is hard.  I'm not sure how I'm going to do it.
• In addition, I plan to travel TWO TIMES during the month of September.  This is unprecedented and totally crazy, but I am pleased and looking forward to it at the same time, while simultaneously quaking in my boots. Blaine's grandpa's 99th birthday and a corresponding family reunion??  My dad within driving distance??  It would skewer me to miss either of these opportunities.  I must go.
• Blaine is taking four days off this month (in addition to Labor Day) and I will use them to the best of my ability.  Tomatoes, apples, cabbage are my biggest challenges.

It took me two days to crank this post out.  I think I covered most of my bases.  Much love, many blessings, I think of you all much more often than you hear from me.

'Tis the season and Yittle Yi-ya Yen

"Oh Eliah, Little 'Liah Len"

(to the tune of "Little 'Liza Jane")

Holy smokes.  I am up to my eyeballs in tomatoes and crookneck squash and pickling cucumbers.  It is best not to think about it too much or my mind goes into gridlock.  Eegads.  

I've realized that I am going to be in "maintenance mode" this year.  No frivolities, very little experimentation, sticking almost entirely to the basics.  I thought last year was hard (and it was).  But this preservation season feels like it might swallow me whole.

I think it is because of "Little 'Liah Len's" age.  14 months.  He's into everything, climbing whatever he can get on, and has absolutely no sense of how to keep himself safe (so very normal, of course).  Blaine has him mostly covered on weekend; but he wants his mama like every toddler does, so I am pulled to the wayside for regular snuggle breaks.  Which I love, of course, but it becomes my own personal speed bump.  Times ten.

My current thoughts on the subject is to do as much as I can during the day (weekends being the big push), then stay up for a few hours after everyone else is in bed.  I've done it a few times already and it provides a major boost on keeping things under control.

A quote from an interlude

At the end of last week, Diego and Jamie were sitting together peacefully at the kitchen table playing with Legos while I was tending to the baby in the tub.  This, in and of itself, is an amazing and rare event worth noting.  Unless enmeshed in an extremely active and imaginative game together, they are usually fighting.  Especially when it involves Legos.

::: Sidenote: I think I finally understand why I fought so much with my brother who is five years younger than me.  I see it in action every day. :::

So anyway . . . Diego came into the bathroom and gave me this terrific quote from Jamie, who had been talking to him about the Lego motorcycle's kickstand.

Jamie said to Diego, "Do you know how to get this stander off?  ...do you?  It's pretty hard for big boys."

I love this in so many ways, in the fact that this is a perfect snapshot for Jamie's language and communication right now.  That they were getting along so beautifully and Diego actually came into the bathroom to tell me the story with pleasure and amusement, ahhhhhh . . . it made me so happy at the time.

But the icing on the cake was Diego's finishing touch to the story.  He said, "You'd better write that down, Mama."

The thoughtfulness.  His tender heart.  He knows that about me.  It left me feeling all warm and fuzzy on the inside as I rushed to Jamie's Special Notebook to write it down before the next big emergency would knock it right out of my mind.

Then a couple of days later, I wrote it down in Diego's Special Notebook.

::: A final sidenote: I've noticed that if I don't write things down immediately, that particular thought or memory is essentially vaporized.  (Where is my mind?  Way out in the water, see it floating.)  But worse, I've also come to realize I don't remember some of the things I do write down.  Reading it either triggers the memory, or I thank myself for writing something down that would be otherwise lost to time and space.  My brain is too full, too full.  :::

Blahblahblah, cameras, blahblah

I've got to enjoy QT while I have it, but I wanted to get some kind of shout-out, some kind of something out here, to keep some kind of semblance of a "groove" in my blogging.

A groove.  Ha.  I lost that awhile ago.

I don't have any new pictures for you because I haven't had time to download the crappers (seagull, clam, blurry pictures, you remember), but we did just get our new camera in the mail this week.  We bought the exact same make and model as our last, a Sony Cybershot, except this one is pink instead of purple.  I don't want to go through the work of learning anything new, and besides, it was only $99.

We are giving the blurry purple one to the fellas.  Their pictures are usually all blurry anyway, so it doesn't make too much of a difference, and they are very excited about making videos with sound.  Diego has an antiquated camera that takes silent videos (which he has really enjoyed using), and Truen has our old-old black camera, a cheaper model that switches back-and-forth between the video and picture function, making it rather annoying to use (he has really enjoyed it nonetheless).

Kids with cameras are so great, just as long as it isn't my camera they're using.  Our old-old-old silver camera bit the dust when dropped on the root cellar floor by a certain little mister in the somewhat-distant past.  That was a lesson in parenting that stung a bit.

However, I love seeing the world from their point of view, not to mention the creativity ignited with the story-telling capability of the video function.  With my guys, Diego is always the director with Truen and Jamie in the starring roles in front of the camera.  "The stuff they come up with."  It's usually some kind of a battle scene on grand or miniature scale.

I love that they have cameras to use.  It makes me happy.

Jamie has been asking for a camera in recent months as well and I was so pleased when Diego found a Fisher-Price kiddie camera for him in perfect condition at a thrift store just the other week.  Awesome.  He's going to love it.

And now . . . to my book.  The Call to Brilliance by Resa Steindel Brown.

I'm trying to work books back into my harried life, as I'm always so much happier when inspired.

Photo Blow-out (all blurry and it has been too long, but still)

 Yi-ya's chocolate brown curls are so sweet.

The fellas were throwing balls down the walk.

 Accidental wren nest raiders:

Mice usually live in that particular bird house. 

 G&G O. came for a visit in late June.

Grandpa is funny!

 Babies are no match for this Grandma.

 On the front step at my grandparents' open house:

Diego looks like such a giant compared to the rest.
My grandparents are summering with my aunt & uncle in WI now --
I am so pleased about the potential for easier access. 

 Late-afternoon zonkfest.

 That sneaky little devil Truen.

 Too many pictures result in some interesting shots.

 

On their way to their first movie theater experience.

Truen barfed on the way home from too much popcorn --

Amazingly, he had the presence of mind to puke into his popcorn bag. 

 The 4th of July

Diego danced with his sparklers this year.

 E-yi-ya wanted to do sparklers too --

Thankfully he was just as pleased with the cast-off riff-raff.

 I love the sun and action in this shot.

Too bad it's blurry.  That dratted seagull.

 The various poses in this shot crack me up as well.
Jamie's shirt says "Hola Amigo" and is now
a phrase commonly heard at our house these days.

One more of Eliah --

He's just a'nudder brudder now.

Misc. check-in

I'm eating a snack of a banana, walnuts, and kimchi.  Who knew it would be such a great flavor combination??  But it really is.  Bite of banana, handful of walnuts, bite of kimchi.  Yum.

My original snack plan of two boiled eggs with a side of kimchi fell through when I discovered raw eggs in the carton marked "Boiled".  Amazing, but not.  The culprit?  Old Leroy.  The guy absolutely destroys me in the Tidy and Organized departments, but somehow uncooked eggs always end up in the boiled egg carton.  The scallywag.  I love him.

My parents are here in their second half of a two week visit.  This afternoon they are taking the three older boys to a movie at a theater (their first time ever) and then out for dinner.  I'm home with the babe, who mysteriously took a half-hour nap as his usual time, which necessitated another nap coinciding perfectly with the late afternoon matinee.  The bliss: an hour at home by myself before a quiet evening at home with my mate.

Ahhhhhh.  And so, as to not waste time, my little bloggerific pop-in must be cut short.  I have the 2014-2015 school year to plan.  I normally do this in April, but this spring just didn't allow it.  When I started brainstorming my parents' visit, I realized that my planning time is literally "now or never".  Do or die.  So I've been pecking away at it here and there while they are here to manage the boy-ohs.

AND.  My mom and I are teaming up to clean out and wash our kitchen cupboards inside and out.  Yessssss!  My dad is reading all the boys' school books to them each day and almost done reading The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe aloud, the start of our second time through the series together.  Awesome.

My sister, who also came for the visit, is playing ponies with the fellas every afternoon.  My Little Ponies.  Diego would perish of embarrassment if he knew this was common knowledge.  Bwahahahaha.  They're playing with my old ponies, the ones that Jayna also played with as a girl, and they all looooove it.  It is the sweetest thing.

Monthly posting, then a catch-up on E-yi-ya

A perfect visual for my life right now: chaos and action

Honestly, who has time to blog??  Apparently not mothers of four boys ages one through eight years old.  Holy smokes.  I have totally fallen off the bandwagon.  

I miss the out-processing, reflection, and connection of blogging, but feel completely unsure of how to fit it back in.  It seems impossible.

Summer is kicking into high-gear.  My weekly plan is to spend one day at the lake and one morning at the library, with the rest of our time hunkered down at home: playing, working, schooling.  Our school schedule completely derailed this spring, so we are just starting our third term, approximately two months behind schedule.  Ah well.  We'll just finish in August instead of June.

I also plan to have the neighbor boys over a couple times a week.  They are twins, a year older than Diego, and ideal playmates for our fellas.  They are kind, thoughtful, sweet, and love to battle.  It's a war zone every time they come to play, with all the fellas choosing teams, bellowing and running all around until everyone is red-faced, in severe need of water.

Meanwhile, Baby Eliah turned one year old.  Amazing.  I am surprised by the fact that I am not at all sad about this.  This has not been the case in the past, particularly with Baby Jamie when I was almost heartbroken at the thought of his baby year ending.  Perhaps there isn't time to be sad.  I've also wondered if he still seems like such a baby compared all his older brudders.  Whatever the case may be, it still stands to reckon: I'm not mournful this time 'round.

All about E-yi-ya

He is Franken-baby right now, complete with the unintelligible utterances, tottering all around, and the smashing up of everything.  He climbs up and over the baby gate, loves to climb to the back cushions on the loveseat in the sunroom, and makes a bee-line for any unblocked you-name-it.  If he's not allowed, he's all over it.

I can't set him down without him wandering off and getting into mischief, so he is either confined to 1) his booster chair or 2) the baby backpack while I keep the household in running order.  He protests, and loudly, hollering, "Da-dow!" ("all done!") almost as soon as I sit him in his seat, or cries the second I pick up the backpack.

Other tactics include sitting him in the sandbox with 1-2 brudders keeping an eye on him while I work and supervise from the kitchen window, keeping him caged in the bathroom if/when I'm working there, or requesting a'nudder brudder tail him while I quickly finish whatever I'm doing.

He has chocolate brown hair in tight curls, the cutest thing ever.  I also noticed just last month that he has a lip-tie, where the frenulum attaches all the way down to the bottom of his gum in between his front teeth.  How have I never noticed this??  Lip-tie babies are supposed to have trouble with nursing, but out of all my babies, he came out nursing like he'd been doing it for months.

He says / signs

• Hiiiiiiii-dere (Hi there)
• Da-dow! (All done!)
• Dada
• T-ts (our cat, Toots)
• Sign: More
• Sign: Milk
• Sign: Potty/poopy
• Sign: All done

I sit him down on the potty every morning (and sometimes other times too) and he pees and poops on it almost without fail.  He seems to really love cooked carrots.  He love-love-loves his brudders.  He hits when he's mad (mostly mad flailings, but he had a few calculated whacks on Diego & Jamie the other week).

This fella calls all cats and dogs "T-ts" and is loving the chase-and-tickle game, particularly on the stairs.  He adores his daddy.  Just this morning, Eliah went to his Da and didn't want me back, even pushing my face away from him when we attempted the hand-back.  It was the cutest thing.

E-yi-ya.  What a fella.

Pregnant again

Just kidding.  Ha.  But hopefully that got a few hearts thumpin'.  We were at the local garden center yesterday and Truen had the hilarious idea to stick his head in my shirt and say that I was pregnant again.  And just think: that little bugger actually did fit in there at one point.

In other semi-related news, this picture is completely blurry because a SEAGULL dropped a GIANT CLAM on my CAMERA in April.  I've dumped my memory card at least once since being home, but never had the emotional energy or time to actually examine anything.  I finally did today and realized that every. single. last. picture. in the last two months is blurry.  Oy vey.  Time for another new camera.  Again.

Finally, one last exclamation: can you believe our spring??  The trees are just starting to leaf out.  It has been an unpleasantly late and cold spring again (same thing as last year).  Until just the last couple days, nights are getting down into the 30's F and temps in the day hang in the 40's.  Freezing north winds, cloudy skies, cold, drab and dull.  We are so ready for spring.  In the middle of May.  Un-un-un-un.

I'm hoping to get back into posting more regularly soon.  It has been hard to get back into the swing of life, let alone anything extra.  We are still very sad.  It has been amazing though . . . life is forcing us forward.  Nothing is allowed to stand still, not even grief.

Grieving

I've noticed that people tend to stop blogging during times of great distress or sadness, and so it is with me.

My brother-in-law died at the beginning of this month.  It wasn't unexpected, though still a complete shock to the system.  He was diagnosed with esophageal cancer last August and chose to do chemo; it has been a slow downward spiral since.  I haven't blogged about it at all because it has been too painful and private.  Too terrible.  Too unbelievably sad.

He was 44 years old, a devoted husband and father of five children ages 20-12.  While it is devastating for so many of us, it is amazingly hard to fathom the hole left in the hearts and home of his wife and children, or the pain of losing a child for Blaine's parents.  We are heartsick.

I was at my parents' house in WA during the time of his final decline.  It was incredible and very fortunate timing.  We didn't realize this at the beginning and felt upset at being separated, but how were we to know?  The trip had been planned months ahead of time.  And while he was struggling, we had no idea that death was so close.

But it was good, so very good.  In our absence, Blaine was completely unencumbered, both physically and emotionally, and able to be there with his brother in the final days.  It was an incredibly important and transformative experience, to be there with his parents and sister, our sister-in-law, nephews and nieces, loving their beloved into the transition of death and life beyond death.  It was so incredibly painful, but also so incredibly amazing.  The depth of emotion.  The devotion.  Love, raw and real.  The intensity of pain.

I spoke of this to Blaine's aunt at the funeral, of how simultaneously terrible and remarkable the experience was.  As I fumbled over the words with my heart so heavy with emotion and grief, she looked right into my eyes and said, "I know." 

So now we are pushed into the realm of understanding death as an amazing experience, an event that holds its own against the incredible joy of birth.  Accompanied with grief and desolation in place of the anticipation and elation, but singular and astounding nevertheless.  We just never knew.

Ultimately, we are left with the grief of losing him.  Now that we have moved back into the unrelenting duty of life, it is easy to pretend that he is still at work and home, like "normal".  The pain has dulled with each passing week, but stabs in waves with the remembrance that he isn't there, which is a leisure his wife and children don't experience for more than a few moments.

As my sister-in-law said, "Everything goes back to him."  And it hurts.  So much.

And he's got curly hair too

E-yi-ya at 9.5 months

Look who got crazy about pots and lids yesterday.  He spent a cumulative hour playing in the pots: transferring lids on and off, putting lids inside pots, clanging, thumping, moving things around.  He was quite focused.

Also new last night was an interest pulling bean bags in and out of a little purple storage crate.  He was fascinated by this for a good fifteen minutes.  In-and-out-and-in-and-out.  It was amazing.  He even entirely (or mostly) emptied the crate before refilling it.  Un-un-un-un.

Other interests include exploring the shower, slapping the side of the tub (and the bathwater if he can get at it), squeezing cats, climbing stairs, eating bits of fuzz off the floor, and leading the herd in "the crawling game".

So much for that

Just as I was hitting the button for a new post, the two little guys woke up from their nap simultaneously.  Both approximately an hour before expected and 20 minutes before the big guys would come down from quiet time.  Oh well.  Maybe tomorrow.

The sweetest

"Mama . . . I wish there were Mama Dandy-legs."

:: Jamie :: consoling me and feeling a little sad after some group-talk about daddy long-legs this morning.  He even threw in a couple of dramatic sniffs at the end. ♥