Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Lots to say

. . . but not much time to write it out.

I'm feeling well.  Healing well, though interestingly, I feel like I am recovering from pregnancy, not childbirth.  I'm 33, so it is probably harder has I get older?  Sheesh, that's scary.  And, as others have pointed out, those muscles and ligaments have already been stretched out twice before.

Jamie is doing well -- as sweet as a warm, sunny morning.  I adore him.  Having a newborn again is wonderful.  What a beautiful time of life it is -- and so fleeting.  There is no comparison.

The brothers are affectionate and loving.  They love to caress his fuzzy little head and smother him with sloppy kisses.  Truen is particularly gentle and careful, which definitely falls in line with his general personality.  Diego takes pride in telling everyone, "His name is Jamie Sterling". 

We've had a couple of bumps in the road of adjustment -- mostly within the realms of being careful around mama and/or baby and our sleeping arrangements.  But nothing too horrific. 

We co-sleep, so our sleeping arrangements go like this: Jamie, Mama, Truen, Diego, Squeeze.  Diego had a hard time and cried that first night, but has since has transitioned well and has been happily snuggling with Squeeze at bed time (with a little snuggle with mama before hunkering down for the night).  

I've found that I am really mourning the change.  I miss him.  I suppose I shouldn't be surprised; and I'm not, even though I wasn't anticipating it.  Probably because there was too much else to think about.  I miss his warm little body snuggled up next to mine.  I miss being close to him while he is drowsy, still, and softly snuggling.  I am sad that life is changing, even though I am happy about the change that precipitated this adjustment. 

My tender mama's heart...!

Diego has been waking up in the early morning hours to sliver in between me and Truen to touch my neck.  I'm so glad.  While Truen doesn't generally like to snuggle, he does like to be with me, so he has been a little irritated with Diego sneaking in to take his spot.  But not crushed.

Blaine is back at work today, after a week and three days off.  I miss him terribly.  He had a day off for bereavement yesterday, as his grandma died the day after Jamie was born.  The funeral was yesterday.  Talk about a mixed bag of joy and grief for the extended Borealis family! 

She hadn't been doing well this past month after getting knocked out by a bladder infection.  Thankfully, we were able to see her several times in the past weeks, though she was worse and worse every time we saw her.  We can hardly believe we won't be seeing her again.  I felt like that when my grandpa died, too.

So we are sad.  And happy.  And adjusting.  And in love.

I've had a lot of inquiries about my Birth Story.  I am definitely planning on it.  First I have to finish writing it out in Little Jamie's baby book (I'm about half-way done) and then I need the time to pound it out on the computer.  It's-a-comin', though much slower this time around.

Oh, and finally . . .

As I was carrying the phone into the sunroom this morning, I happened to see the time: 11:11 AM on 1.11.11 -- amazing.  I still can't believe how freqently I happen to look at the clock at that time.  What fun to see it on January 11, 2011!  Wow.

1 comment:

Ashley said...

YES!!! I love Danie Blizzard.

I experienced an array of emotions reading this. I cannot imagine how conflicted you must feel - you are simultaneously celebrating so many new and beautiful things, but also mourning the way life was.

I love seeing the big brothers with their baby brother. They look absolutely smitten! And why wouldn't they be??? He is delightful!

I can't wait to hear about Jamie Sterling's birth... but I would rather you spend time enjoying him and your family than stealing time away to share it with us. As you said, the newborn stage is fleeting.

Love you all.