Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Tight pants just might save your life

True story:

I've worked for the same company for 5 years now. Cubeland. Hundreds of people on each floor, thousands of people in each building. You know the routine. Recently a 24 year old co-worker's life was quite literally radically altered after a day in skin-tight leather pants.

"I'll be riding without a spare soon," he said.


Let me explain -

He fell asleep (passed out?) in a pair of tight pants after work; when he woke up, he found himself at a slightly crumpled odd angle, body twisted, legs pressed together, and one of his testicles was aflame. He thought it wasn't much - it hurt for about a week, then the pain went away.

But that sucker grew. The testicle enlarged over a period of about a month until it was the size of a fist. He finally confided in another co-worker, who said, "Are you nuts?? Call the doctor NOW!!!" He did. They told him to come in that day. Within the week, he had an ultrasound, the doctor confirmed it was cancer, and he was scheduled for surgery. Oh yes - he's truly "riding without a spare" now. Interestingly, they removed his testicle through an incision in his lower abdomen and pulled it out, strings and all, from the top.

The tumor was 6 centimeters in length. The doctors said it was a kind of cancer that usually occurs in older men and does not spread. Sometimes, they said, tumors can grow rapidly if pestered. Thus, the life-saving dual purpose of the skin-tight leather pants: ridiculously good-looking and a valuable medical apparatus!


Guys: Turn you head and cough - monthly, at least.
Ladies: Tell your men to check themselves regularly!

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