Called out by the two year old

"You got mad eyes, Mama."

After a moderately rough morning and a burning need for solitude.  Little Eliah Len.

I've also realized that while noise and commotion may be the downfall for some moms (and that does get to me eventually), my weak spot is discord.  Fighting, screaming, crying, nasty attitudes, harsh treatment of each other, mocking, belittling, seemingly endless conflict.  It steals my joy and leaves me feeling like a husk.

So interesting too, because that list sheds light on the mix of ages I've got.  Parenting kids 5 and under doesn't involve much of  the latter end of the list.  What "they" say is right: parenting older kids involves so much more mindwork.  Little guys' needs are immediate and much more simply dealt with.  But big kids?  Mentally fatiguing.

A good winter for skiing

It was a great year for snow --

Blaine skied almost every weekend in December-January.

The boys joined him several times throughout the season.

And everyone was stronger and better controlled than the year before.

 

 Yiya and I even went out with them a couple of times.

He might be in skis next winter!  Goodness.

(He's already working on the second-half of Two.)(Ay-yi-yi.)

This was my favorite walk --

Eliah was very interested in walking through the drifts.

We got way, way behind everyone else and

Outside Bay even came along for a stroll.

Not again

It is amazing, it really is.  My boys, with their frothy leader at the helm - the oldest and most impulsive of the crew - have officially graduated into "wild animal" status.  I'm serious.

At this point in the game, if my attention is directed elsewhere - phone, skype, kitchen work, delivery person, whatever it may be - they almost instantaneously rip off all their clothes and stampede around hooting and hollering like feral monkeys.

Four boys: Ten, Eight, Five, and Two. Or four wildebeests?

Those delectable chocolate curls

Shower Day: freshly washed and combed

I've developed an entire routine to keep Yiya's curls looking beautiful.

It takes a lot of attention and moisturizer to keep them tame and coiled, otherwise his hair frizzes into an unsightly and enormous mouse nest. (Stretched out, his hair goes halfway down his back.)

I wash it with conditioner every few days, apply in a leave-in conditioner, then comb through it with a hair creme.  On the off days, I spritz it with water with a few drops of beard oil added in. (Thanks Uncle Erik!)  The curls tighten right up.

As you can imagine, he detests having his hair combed.  It only happens every few days, but we have a routine for that as well: we watch Convos with My 2-Year-Old on YouTube while I comb through it.  Otherwise he is completely unmanageable: squawking, crying, fighting, curling up on me.  If Convos is on, he is mild and subdued.  So much easier.

But the real inspiration for this post ...

This morning the boys are making Lego conservatories for the flies and stink bugs they find around the house.  Everyone was gathered around the table building.  Yiya was draped in his towel.  After getting him dressed, I headed back to the bathroom for the hair creme and a comb.  He knew what was happening next.

When I came back into the kitchen, he was nowhere to be seen and sweet little disembodied voice called, "Me hiding!"  I looked around for a few seconds, laughing to myself and not seeing him anywhere, then looked under the table; sure enough, the little mister was crouched down and looking sly.

Everything unfurled as usual: Convos, creme, comb. Then I rushed to write this down as soon as I possibly could.  The "Me hiding" is just such a perfect example of where he's at right now: his sweet little two and a half year old self.

Also: the picture above.  We have local friends who run an online Catholic homeschool curriculum.  We posed as models for them last month and this shot came out of it.  We were giggling at each other. Isn't he just so sweet?

Two and a half

Eliah says

• "Shishy papo" not "fishy papo" [papo = pacifier]
• "DungeBob" not "SpongeBob"
• "Dushbrish" not "toothbrush"
• "Bana chips" not "Banana chips"
• "Sell this?" instead of "Can we buy this?"
• Adds "butt hole" into all teases and jokes
• Asks for me to sing "Hump-Dumpy-Dumpy"

Funny quotes
:: "You a lady, Mama" (fingering my ponytail)

:: "Me buy this one ship! Twenty Dollars." (Diego's Lego X-wing Fighter)

:: "No way hoo-zay" and "No fanks hoo-zay"

:: "Get outta here, butt - head." (to get a laugh) (always)

:: "Pumperdoll is, Pumperdoll is, Pumperdoll is" (his song) (inspired by Blaine's nickname for him) ("Pumperdoll" and often just "Pump" or "Doll")

:: "One . . . two . . . butt hole . . . three . . . butt hole . . . butt hole . . . butt hole" (counting to ten with me) (goodness) (there's obviously a lot of potty talk in a houseful of boys)

:: "So many yucky things" (surveying Gramma S.'s beautifully set Christmas spread)

These days

I am....

....playing the "Dragon Game" with Jamie and Eliah every day before lunch in the upstairs bedroom.  Jamie gets dressed up in his dragon costume and  I am Mama Emerald, Jamie is Baby Ruby, and Eliah is Baby Opal.  I cozy up in bed and they run around and squeak. We also do a lot of fake eating, pretend sleeping, and flying practice (AKA jumping off the bed and tearing around the room).

....playing Hearts with the Big Boys in the afternoons.

....starting the evening meal at 4:00 PM, which makes the entire night easier.  I also shifted around my other regular routines, like making stock or broth-making, yogurt-making, boiling eggs for snacks, making Blaine's weekly breakfast frittata, etc. to the morning, so I am not in the kitchen until bedtime every night.

....reading Johnny Tremain aloud and really enjoying it.  And Robinson Caruso.  And 26 Fairmount Avenue.  And Poor Richard.  And the Jesse Bear books.  And always, always Mother Goose . . . I adore nursery rhymes.

....reading Big House in the Little Woods aloud on the nights that Eliah falls asleep quickly.  Blaine is reading Indian in the Cupboard at bedtime every few nights.  This is a relatively new tradition that I am so pleased about.  (Though I did read through all of Raggedy Ann and Raggedy Andy when Jamie fell asleep quickly in years' past.) (But it felt much, much more intermittent than this.)

....so pleased about Skype Story Night with my Dad.  He's reading us The Hobbit.  Every Wednesday (or Tuesday) at 8:00 PM CST.  Blaine snuggles and reads with the younger boys while the big boys and I laze and listen.  I look forward to it every week.

....surprised this post turned into raving about books.

....glad to be able to out-process this afternoon.  It is so settling and inspiring, getting a good look and a dose of perspective.  I really should post more often.

2015 Book List: Completed

• The Art of Losing: Poems of Grief & Healing - Ed. Kevin Young
• The Taste of Country Cooking - Edna Lewis
• Raising Real Men - Hal and Melanie Young
• Twelve Recipes - Cal Peternell
• For the Children's Sake - Susan Schaeffer Macaulay
• Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte (audio)
• Brown Eggs and Jam Jars - Aimee Wimbush-Bourque
• Uncle Tom's Cabin - Harriet Beecher Stowe (audio)
• One Good Dish - David Tanis
• Life Skills for Kids: Equipping Your Child for the Real World - Christine Field
• Mansfield Park - Jane Austen (audio)
• Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
• Help for the Harried Homeschooler: A Practical Guide to Balancing Your Child's Education with the Rest of Your Life - Christine Field
• The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children - Ross Greene
• Notes from a Blue Bike: The Art of Living Intentionally in a Chaotic World - Tsh Oxenreider
• Cure Tooth Decay: Heal and Prevent Cavities with Nutrition - Ramiel Nagel
• Boys Should Be Boys: 7 Secrets to Raising Healthy Sons - Meg Meeke

Thoughts from rest

My head is a-swirl this morning with what I've learned in recent time, both resounding and insignificant.

Blaine is home this week.  We are getting up well before the crack of dawn and enjoying the solitude; he in his nest in a lamp-lit basement with the fire blazing next to him, me on the main floor next to the piano and our enormous bookshelf, lit by the art-deco panther lamp.  The fellas haven't been waking up until 7:00 AM, even Yiya.  The space for reflection has been blissful.

He is reading Galileo's Daughter by Dava Sobel and watching Roman Polanski films on his sister's old laptop.  I am working through a book of poetry on grieving and loss and reading Jane Eyre.  Many of the poems make me cry, but it is good to connect and understand more.

But: what I have learned.

......that just because I am not doing something now, doesn't mean I won't be able to implement it in the future.  What a HUGE asset this understanding is under my belt in motherhood.  I am not sunk because I haven't read Les Miserables or [insert amazing book here] aloud, nor because I have yet to implement a two hour afternoon quiet time for reading and reflection.  Shoot, we've never even had a full-sized Christmas tree.  There is time for all of it.  So many things are worked into, not instantly implemented.  They grow and change, and so the does the rhythm and routine around them.  I am their steward and shepherd.

......that accepting children for what they are is very freeing.  I remember feeling this very profoundly when I realized that there wasn't anything wrong with Baby Truen, he simply wasn't Baby Diego. (Serious and Reserved vs. Super-smiley and Outgoing)  This was very confusing to me his first year.  They are all different; how could they not be?  And as they grow older, tactics and methods that work for one are less effective or useless with another - and that is okay.  It is up to us to figure them out.  X isn't a mutant because he doesn't respond how I would or how I've seen his brothers do it.  They are who they are and it is our job to meet him there.

and not thoughtful at all....
......that all I need to brush my teeth is baking soda and a drop of Sweet Fennel essential oil.  With maybe a little salt mixed in.  We ran out of tooth powder last week and won't be able to get it for another week.  In the meanwhile, Blaine bought a toothpaste that I find unpleasant.  I thought about it a bit, then decided to take an ulterior route and I have to say, I'm a big fan.

The snow is thick at our house and the bird feeders are flocked by squirrels and winter birds.

It feels good to be at home.  It feels good to think.

I must have been very, VERY proud

Last night I slept on my back, holding a pork belly-sized pillow in my left arm like I was carrying it.  I knew it was a pillow, but I told myself in my sleepy netherworld state that it was the bacon I finished that day.  I was clutching it in my left arm like a baby.  It was warm and I swear I could smell it.

I completed my first-ever homemade bacon experiment yesterday afternoon.  I roasted it after seven days of turning it in the brine in the refrigerator.  It looked and smelled amazing.  Un.

Checking in . . . so cathartic

I realized last week that I haven't posted in eons.  Perhaps more than a month?  Life is too full.  I am juggling a huge array of "just life" within these four walls.

This weekend I pondered house servants after dipping my toes into The Alice B. Toklas Cookbook.  Yes.  It makes sense to me.  Who has time for pondering the mysteries of life when the realities of upkeep hammers down unrelentingly?

"To everything, there is a season."  I know.  But this season feels like a treadmill.  I hit the pillow at night, running on empty.  Morning refreshes, but not too long after waking, I'm back in the saddle again.

My beloved morning solitude was completely decimated by the time change.  Eliah has upped the ante and often rushes out of bed in the five o'clock hour to find me.  And if I'm still in bed, he's up at 6:15 AM almost like clockwork.

Uncle!  I am trying accept it graciously, taking what I can get.  But as you can imagine, it is hard. 

What the little bugger often looks like by noon,

due to his early morning habits . . . soooo sleepy.

I am also working toward eating at a more reasonable time, starting the evening meal in late afternoon to ensure it happens.  It has taken a reordering of habits and expectations, but it is worth the effort.

In other news, we are slowly simmering down into Winter Rest.  Our outside work is completely finished for the season and last weekend was the FIRST WEEKEND since last spring that we didn't have a full outdoor agenda.  It was amazing, and for Blaine, a little hard to take.  He felt lazy, spending the days resting and nuzzling with the boys.  Lazy.  But when you've been in a full-on run for months and months, it feels strange to sit for a good length of time.

I picked away at little nagging tasks, like reabsorbing last summer's clothing into storage and busting piles that have been building for months.  We also took our yearly family picture for the Christmas cards.  I might even get 'em out by Christmas this year.  Maybe.  Last year it was April.

This year was the first year that we actually have a good variety of pictures to choose from.  Most years, we've just scrounged with something mostly-suitable.  But this year?  Three or four pictures were in the running.  Wow!  It was amazing.  I was so pleased.

One of my favorites from the riff-raff

Part of the success came from switching up our positioning after the first few pictures.  It added a bit of fun for the fellas - keeping them interested while giving us a chance for something actually nice-looking.  So much better.  Note to self: do this every year.

And finally, homeschooling.  This is our fourth "official" year and I finally feel like a dyed-in-the-wool, baptized-by-fire homeschooler.  We have arrived. 

We do our morning Circle Time M-TH: Motto, Read Aloud, Hymn, Poetry, Memory Work, Plutarch, Folk Song, Shakespeare, Mother Goose.  In that order.  Read Aloud: Bible (M-T), Misc. Reading (W), Geography (TH)

Morning Lessons are also M-TH: Math, Copywork.

I have yet to implement Reading Practice, but I have plans to require it 15 minutes per day, M-TH.  Both boys are reading, but only do so when forced.  I have allowed much time for growth and developmental breadth, but I am inching towards making it more a part of their lives.  We read aloud every day, they narrate and listen to audiobooks; but I can't help wanting them to break into their own private world of book-reading.

Fridays are our more relaxed day, where I "catch up" on read alouds, ensure that the bathroom gets cleaned (by Diego and Truen), and we have even been doing "Triangle Time" (haha) with almost-weekly drawings out of Draw Write Now.

So that's it from me.  I'm feeling a bit more balanced . . . the out-processing, sharing, and life-record of putting out a blog post is so cathartic.  I really should do this more often. (Ha.)

The Littles are napping and the Bigs are listening to Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.  (We love-love-love HP on audio.) (Jim Dale is so terrific!)

Word from the mother.

Queen of Collards

I feel like I've Discovered Greens this fall.  We've been eating out of our garden for eight years now, but I don't think I've ever fully appreciated the potential for cooked greens.  They are so scrumptious and satisfying.  And so wonderfully cold-hardy.  When nothing else is left, there's always kale.

We are having an elongated autumn this year - it has been lovely. (And unusual.) (I've realized that I wish it was like this every year.)  There hasn't been a hard freeze yet, so the cruciferous vegetables are still going strong: collards, three kinds of kale, red and green cabbages, broccoli, and parsley too.  We would have probably had celery too, if I hadn't harvested it all in preparation for a cold snap.

I feel like I just can't get enough of kale and collards. How have I not flipped for them before?

Here's my favorite dish thus far.

Sauteed Greens and Squash

1 large onion, sliced
A couple of dollops of fat (goose, chicken, lard, tallow, etc.)
4-6 garlic cloves, minced
Half of a cooked, dry squash
A giant basket (or stack) of kale or collards
1 cup stock or dry, white wine
Salt & pepper to taste

:: Slice the onion and start sauteing in the fat of your choice in a cast-iron dutch oven
:: Don't bother de-stemming your greens - just chop and add the stem part first
:: Roll the greens cigar-fashion and cut into swaths, then chop the sections into smaller pieces
:: Add greens, mixing to stir with the onion
:: Add the stock or wine, then cover to allow the greens to steam
:: Meanwhile, chop the cooked squash and add it to the pot
:: Lastly, smash and mince the garlic and add it to the pot
:: Stir periodically and let simmer for 10-15 minutes

It is also very good with a grating of nutmeg added in.

Quick peek

Our Little Guys: Eliah and Jamie 

They were watching the heating guy check out the furnace.

I love their sweet faces and Jamie peeking out from behind Mama's apron.

The furnace had stopped working from the chicken bones

Diego had inserted into the venting system "two years ago".

Good grief.  Thankfully, everything panned out just fine.

Truen turned eight the week before last.

He had a whole day of special meals, snacks, and desserts planned out --

He was very excited about his special day.

His favorite present from Da? Snap Circuits. Obsessed.

And finally, Diego's recently-invented pose for pictures --

This is what most snaps look like these days.

 In this case, he was dressed up to play "the old man" 

in a musical production of an old Chinese folktale

with our homeschool co-op: Tikki Tikki Tembo

Jamie's babe

Last week the younger two went through a day-long "doll phase", where they were exceedingly pleased by carting around their own little baby dolls and fussing over them.

I realized that Jamie, out of all the boys, has played with dolls the least.  He has never cared for his own little "baby" before.  Diego tended his Baby Air-Pump and Truen had Baby Lamby.  And Eliah has his little Tiny Baby that he is so pleased with.

(Though I should remember, Jamie has snuggled and tended to real babies outside of the family more than any of his brudders.) (And very tenderly I might add.) (Conversely, let us also not forget his "Attack Baby" phase between the ages of 12-24 months when he assailed any baby smaller than him.) (I had to hover to protect any babies within range.)

So there the Littles were, tending their babies.  Jamie had to change untold poop diapers and Eliah was so proud to carry his baby around and snuggle it.  It was such a novelty that I took pictures and helped make little diapers and outfits for each of their babies.

By afternoon, Jamie started wrestling with his doll (a freaky-looking old one of mine, totally bald, with plastic arms and a big plastic head).  Wrestling turned into brawling and brawling turned into a full-out assault on the doll, who was pinned down and pummeled.  He was absolutely beating it up.  With deluxe sound effects.

Not too long after that, he was holding it by the arm and leg and pretending it was an underwater bazooka, shooting big missiles across the room, spittle flying out of his mouth with the force of the sound effects.

I tell you.  Nature vs. Nurture?  I just don't see any way around it.

Year 4

I'm still getting up early each morning, though the time has settled in right around 5:00 AM.  I realize that I needed to get up at 4:30 AM for a couple of weeks to decompress, but find that I am satisfied with a little later time.  It feels right.

We started school last week and it is going really well.  Adding Circle Time was Phase I.  This is when we sing, recite our motto and poetry, and do some reading aloud.  It is right after breakfast, lasts about a half-hour, and the boys get 20 minutes of free-time afterward.

This week is Phase II.  After their short break, we recommence with Morning Lessons at the table.  Copywork and Math.  I am using MEP Math, our first time delving into a math curriculum.  We are on Lesson 5 and so far, so wonderful.  I am exceedingly pleased.  I knew they were ready for it and both boys seem intrigued and excited.  Me too.

Phase III will be adding in Phonics and Reading Practice.  I'm not quite sure where to add this in, as they are ready for a break again by the time we are done with Math.  I am taking my time to get a feel for our new routine.

Phase IV is going to be doing a larger household chore.  They already do their Morning Chores (empty dishwasher, cat litters, clear the table, load the dishwasher, sweep), but I want to add some household maintenance to their daily routine.  They fold laundry on Mondays and clean the bathroom on Fridays, so I'm thinking that vacuuming various rooms Tuesday through Thursday will fit the bill.

The beautiful crook neck squash and her cousins

I've been learning all kinds of interesting things in the kitchen this past year, but the biggest accomplishment is broadening my abilities in making meat stretch.  I regularly feeds all six of us with one pound of ground meat, which is a great relief to our budget and a good way to make our beef half last most of the year.  Most of the year.

The key is using the right kind of additions to make it virtually undetectable and my favorite vegetable to do this with is summer squash.  The humble zucchini. And his other favorite cousin, the lovely crook neck squash.

I remember a woman in years' past almost-squealing about her love for zucchini while expounding on her garden, how hard it was to wait for it every season.  I didn't quite understand it, as I hadn't explored zucchini much at that point, but man . . . now I get it.

I just used it this morning with sausage.  I salted two medium zucchini and let it sit a bit, squeezed out the water, added a pound of ground sausage with my own seasoning, grated a couple of apples in with it, and we had EIGHT sausage patties for breakfast instead of last weekend's six when I had used only the apple.

[Incidentally, I am also frying apples in the fat left from the sausage with a sprinkling of whole sugar and serving it with breakfast.  Oh. my. goodness.  Why haven't I done this before??]

The sausage patties were delicious, moist, and there was room for a second helping for hungry little tummies.  A win-win all around.

Another way I've been using summer squash the last two summers is in taco meat.

Taco Salad (called "Haystacks" in my family growing up) is everyone's favorite meal at our house.  As our children are growing older, I bumped into the stark reality that a pound of meat just won't be enough for this meal anymore . . . until I added the magic ingredient.

Zucchini-laden Taco Salad Meat

• 1-2 medium onions, chopped
• 4-6 medium summer squash, chopped
• 1 lb ground beef
• 3-4 cloves garlic, smashed and minced
• salt, pepper, chili powder, cumin, etc.

:: Start with the onion - chop and add to the skillet with a dollop of lard
:: Then chop and add the zucchini in bite-sized pieces
:: When everything is melty and sweet, add the ground beef in good-sized pinches
:: Cook the meat with the vegetables, stirring and moving around the mixture until nicely browned
:: Add the seasonings and let cook, stirring now and then, until it looks right
:: Add the garlic and let cook another couple of minutes

It is delicious, I'm telling you.  It is also a great filling for stuffed peppers topped with red onion marmalade.

What makes zucchini so amazing is its ability to suck up all the flavors around it, which makes it perfect in meaty dishes.  It isn't bland, it is juicy and flavorful and meaty.  And fried zucchini?  After it has been salted and squeezed out?  Almost as amazing as hash browns.

We had SIX summer squash plants in the garden this summer and we have eaten or I have chopped (or shredded or sliced) and dried every last one.  So, it's official.  Zucchini is my second favorite vegetable, in a head-to-head competition with the amazing cabbage.

I'm already sad about missing it this winter.  No fresh zucchini??

Bloom

I've been working in the kitchen this morning and putting together split pea soup.  The boys are right with me, playing peacefully with giant mounds of playdough at the kitchen table. 

Some of concepts they've tossed around --

• The rainy season
• Lakes drying up
• People groups moving in and out
• Top predators
• Carcasses

It is so interesting to hear their schooling come out in their play.  I love that so much, seeing the fruit of my labor and the blossoming of their little minds.

Group shot

I love these pictures . . . the colors, all of us together, Blaine's beautiful hair, Truen's sweet face, Jamie and Eliah's little poses, Diego's quickly-disappearing little boy years.  My grandma took them with her iPad, so they're a little blurry.  But sweet nonetheless.

We were in Wisconsin last weekend to visit my grandparents, see my cousin's new baby, attend Blaine's grandpa's 100th birthday celebration, and spend time with my SIL and the cousins.  It was a 4-day weekend and very nice to spend time together away from the onslaught. We definitely enjoyed ourselves. 'Twas good.

Holding steady

My early, early mornings are continuing on track.  I am extremely motivated to keep this time of solitude in place and rise anywhere from 4:10 AM, which I've found to be too-too early, to 5:30 AM, which is not time enough.  Blaine is awake by 5:45 AM and I join him around six.

I have finally found my quiet time, space to think and plan.  It feels amazing.  I am centered, better organized, and feel like I have more of a grip on my life.

I am no longer niggled by the frantic feelings and ugly resentment when unable to find any down-time throughout the day.  I have my quiet. I hold in my heart throughout the day and look forward to it every night as I go to bed.  It feels amazing.

It seems like such an obvious solution that I'm not sure why it took me so long to get here. 

[Though I do remember pregnancies, night-time nursing, and more consistent quiet mornings than I've had in the last two years.] [And it is easy to forget that life is a journey.]

I've bumped into the early morning advice many times before, and now that I've made it a part of my life, I see it everywhere in the blogs I read.  So that's how she "does it all".  She gets up in the dark hours on the morning: reading, writing, crafting, exercise, whatever.  The day is fresh and the silence gives space.  Ah.

Finally. I've arrived.

Well before the crack of dawn

Oh my goodness, I don't think I even posted during the month of August.

That is life now.  It just is.

After stewing on it for a week or so, I've started getting up at 4:30-ish AM.  I didn't think I could do it, but I can and I am loving it.

I have spent my summer fairly miserable, completely burned out, unhappy, wondering what I am even doing.  After analyzing it for awhile, I realized that my need for solitude, the inability to gather my thoughts, plan, organize, and just sit quietly was leaving me at the breaking point.

I was honestly, truly unhappy.  Grim by midday.  Unable to get over feelings of anger and irritation.  Mad at my children for the unrelenting needs that burble forth, feeling like I can never, ever catch a break.  Feeling like there is no rest, ever.  It has been rough.

In addition, it has been a summer of amped up in-fighting amongst my crew.  I have taken to saying every morning after chores, "You have X amount of free time, unless it dissolves into fighting, screaming, and crying -- then free time is over and chores begin".  Sometimes they don't even make it five minutes, even when they are well aware of the consequences.  Misery.

Problems tend to crop up with "everyone but Truen".  He is rarely involved, except as a victim, which always results in him running to me in hysterics, screaming and crying.  Though . . . he did niggle Jamie last week beyond his ability to handle it . . . so he isn't just an innocent bystander.  And he is definitely a willing comrade in the play that amps up to a frenzied pitch.

But by and large, the fighting and inordinately rough play breaks out among the other three: the 10yo, 4yo, and 2yo.  Many times a day.

We are at a stage where I am unable to loosen my grip on the day, ever, at all, not even a bit, to keep any semblance of order.  If my attention is diverted for any length of time, great or small, from kitchen work to squeezing in a quick email, all hell breaks loose and half-naked boys are stampeding through the house or ripping a room apart in some frenzied battle play.  And it is extremely difficult to "get them back" after that.  Or piece together the day.

I am not exaggerating.  There are days, usually when Diego is intently focused in the Lego Room or outside examining bugs and their habitats, when their play is congenial and cohesive.  Otherwise, they are working together in a big boy-hurricane of flailing limbs and wrestle-mania into what I have taken to calling, "a frenzied pitch".  There is no other way to describe it.

But I wanted to talk about waking up at the crack of dawn.

This is Day Three.  I am not using an alarm (we still all sleep together in the same room), just telling myself every night as I go to sleep that I want to get up very, very early.  My goal is 4:30 AM.

I landed on this time with the realization that if I want an entire hour to myself in morning solitude (and I do, so very badly), that I truly need to get up at the ungodly hour of 4:30 AM.  Blaine is up by 5:45 AM and leaves for work by 6:30 AM.  We use this time to hang out and talk.  We work together to get his food ready for the day, relishing the ability to have true conversation without the jilted feelings of constant interruption.

So 4:30 it is.  What I've noticed is that I am feeling energized.  I am happier, more balanced, able to take on the day, with an ability for greater patience and a good attitude.  Getting up before the crack of dawn is not diminishing my abilities, not in the least: my cup is fuller and I feel happier and stronger.  It is noticeable in just a few days, which steels me to work toward making it a solid habit.

Early, early morning solitude.

'Tis the season.

Gigantic blow-out catch-up post for the entire month of July

July 2015 . . . holy smokes . . . what a month.  What a doozy.

It started off with Jamie's plunge into a secondary infection from a minor cold, which took him out for three weeks.  Including the initial cold and in-between time where he never quite "came around" (he seemed tired and lackluster), it was an entire month.

It started with waking up from a nap with a fever on Thursday, 7/2.  My parents were supposed to come that Friday, but delayed arrival until Sunday (they were visiting with my grandparents in Wisconsin, so they were settled in nicely anyway).  The entire week they were here, he was completely subdued and touchy - going to bed at 7:00 PM, napping by 10:30 AM - he was a non-factor in almost everything.  It was sad.

Saying goodbye - Jamie wouldn't be in the picture

The secondary infection was in his lungs and sinuses - all the usual tricks I employ to treat such issues were useless against it.  It seemed as if I couldn't get anything to drain.  It just took time.

The week after my parents left, the congestion in his lungs slowly cleared, but not before a double ear infection manifested itself.  That week was spent focused on ensuring that Jamie took warm baths with rosemary oil to promote drainage, administering garlic oil and applying a hot water bottle to his ear three times daily to nix the ear infection, and making sure that the vaporizer was running with eucalyptus oil in the room while he slept so he could breathe more easily.  He was pale and thin, but sleeping and playing more normally in spite of the pain.

Eventually the pain subsisted and the congestion s-l-o-w-l-y cleared.  Amazingly, Blaine, Diego, Truen, and myself all had sore throats that week (and Jamie and Eliah never got it, thank the good Lord).  He still had blood in his nose from his sinuses and, toward the end of the week, we noticed that several lymph nodes in his neck were swollen and tender.  And still are.  Un-un-un-un.  Will it never end??

We are starting to move outside the house again - we were able to attend the last Park & Rec of the season this Monday and go swimming afterward.  Finally! Swimming, imagine that. The boys reveled in it.  I'm starting to think that I'll need to take the boys swimming for an afternoon each week in addition to our all day Beach Day extravaganzas on Fridays to make up for lost time.

Otherwise, life has been a whole lot of this --

Collards and broccoli

Black currents, kale, peas, turnips

Beautiful Cylindra beets

Our gardens are MAGNIFICENT this year.  It is truly "the best year ever".  Though we've said it before, it honestly tops everything we've accomplished in the past.  We've caught our groove.  The years of experience have dovetailed with our vision and enthusiasm and culminated with an amazing creation.  Blaine, of course, is the mastermind.  Without him, I would be just "pretending to garden" as a friend put so aptly.

:: THE EAST GARDEN ::

Florence fennel, parsley, celery

 Onions (left), garlic (right), then summer squashes, cucumbers

Lettuce gone to seed, broccoli; behind that, the raspberries

:: THE WEST GARDEN (from the south) ::

Corn, cauliflower, and cabbages

Scallions, green beans, peppers, tomatoes, beets

:: THE WEST GARDEN (from the north) ::

Turnips and rhutabagas

Salsify, parsnips, kale, collards, mustard, peas,

Lettuce, carrots, winter squash, sunflowers

(the giant mass on the right is bittersweet)

The West Garden is our main kitchen garden this year.  In the past, it was for summer and winter squashes, melons, and garlic; but we made the switch out of necessity to starve out the grasshoppers that were plaguing the East Garden.  (And succeeded! They are not an issue this year at all.)  We doubled its size, fenced it, and hit the ground running.  It has been an enormous success.

How do I love thee, West Garden?  Let me count the ways.  First and foremost, it is so lovely to look out the window and see such ordered beauty, tangible results of a lot of hard work.  The East Garden is tucked behind the garage and much less visible.  The West Garden also gets much more sunlight, from morning to dusk, with no trees shading it at all.  The soil seems to be rich and fertile, the weeds, not a problem.  And I don't mind the walk one bit.

We also carved out a section in what I call "The Front Four": four acres along our driveway on the north side of our property.  It is currently in alfalfa and will be planted with oats this fall.  We are experimenting with The Front Four and planted winter squash there this year.  It is growing beautifully and plan to use it for squash, garlic, and onions next season.

Our geese this year: five white Embdens

They are so funny!  They are curious and like to follow us around the orchard,

which is exactly what they were doing this lovely morning.

The boys have been housebound pretty much the entire month of July.  Other than our houseguests, we haven't gone anywhere, gone swimming, and missed all the Story Hour and Park & Rec activities for the month.  Such a bummer.

They've still been outside a ton, however.  The big excitement last week was catching frogs.

Truby, pretending.

He caught the hugest frog of all! 

Diego, not pretending.

This is so him: always taking it to the next level.

("No frogs were hurt during the making of this video.") 

Jamie, hopping on the bandwagon.

See how pale and thin he looks?  Ugh.

And Yi-ya.  I still use my Ergo every. single. day.

We've also had a lot of tea party action going on in these parts. Truen has been the main promoter.  It is so cute - they set up the table upstairs and we drink tea or kombucha, eat dried fruit and nuts and toast, and sit with a lighted candle.  It is oh-so-cozy.

Truen and Jamie
 

Eliah, Truen, and Diego

We also had more friends to visit last week - Lyndi and Jen with her girls.  

The entire tempo of the household tamed with girls present. It was amazing.  They set up house in the bedroom upstairs, pulled out their coloring books and markers, and colored.  Jamie sat with them, almost transfixed, sometimes coloring, sometimes just sitting and watching.

A sweet crew
 

This is what happens when I ask Diego to take pictures.

I end up saying, "Will you please take a picture of all of us...?" 

as he hones in on all of our faces one at a time and snaps away.

The pictures always end up so funny, but it is stressful at the time as we w-a-i-t

and there is usually baby fussing or howling to add to the commotion.

The ladies: Shawna, Jen, and Lyndi.

Me with my exasperated and impatient face

"Will you just..??"

And finally, Jamie the Chef with his little helper Eliah Len.  Jamie has been keenly interested in working in the kitchen in the last couple of weeks.  Per his request, we've made pancakes twice, french toast, scrambled eggs, and . . . something else?  I can't remember. He's been begging to make a frozen banana-chocolote-peanut treat that I think we'll probably end up making tonight.

And Yi-ya is always right there, 

insisting on being right in the thick of it.