March 31 Snowfall

Seeds and cellars

We ordered our vegetable seeds through Seed Savers Exchange this weekend. Looking through the pictures and imagining the bounty is a mouth-watering experience. And the colors! So beautiful. Even the names thrill me:

• Grandpa Admire's lettuce
• Webb's Wonderful lettuce
• Delice de Table melon
• Galeux d'Eysines squash
• Long Island Cheese squash
• Calypso bean
• Empress bean
• Jacob's Cattle Gold bean
• Green Arrow pea

We ordered a transplants of both peppers and tomatoes - 6 of each. We also have several flats of heirloom tomato seeds started; as well as leeks, onions, eggplants and cabbages.

Also under the grow lights is a little experiment: salad greens. We missed fresh greens terribly this past winter; and so, after Squeeze planted one pot of arugula for me - it was so unbelievably delicious, in addition to growing well - we realized that we need to expand our operations.

Root Cellar update:

Our root cellar is now completely barren. Apples, carrots, and potatoes all peetered out this past month. The ghastly remains of the celery was used for one last chicken stock last week, and the tomatoes were gone by mid-November. Onions were eaten by December and the cabbages and the last of the squash departed from our company by the end of January. And we only have one of the twelve quarts of applesauce left (mostly used on pancakes...yummm).

As far as frozen foods, we have eaten two of the three quarts of strawberries from last summer, one of the two quarts of raspberries, and only a couple of quarts of frozen spinach, chard, and lettuce from last summer's garden remain. I've been using the frozen greens in creamy chicken soups and stews, and my - it has been a nice addition. I also froze approx. 15 quarts of tomatoes, of which none are left. I suppose we finished those in February sometime.

Next summer, in addition to freezing greens and berries, I want to can salsa and tomato sauce. We use a lot of these tomato products during the winter months and I'm ready to take on the challenge of putting my own up instead of buying jar upon jar from the grocery store.

We have learned a lot and taken copious notes. It is going to be so much fun to take on the challenge of the new growing season. I can't wait!

Bright spots in gray days

Walking Iris aka Apostle Plant

aka Neomarica

I love having tropical houseplants. They usually bloom when the soul and mind need it most - the dreary winter and spring months when everything outside is varying shades of brown.

The Walking Iris blooms over a number of weeks and is lightly fragrant (putting your nose right into the flower is heavenly). New flowers come from the same flower stalk, and eventually produces a new little plantlet. Each bloom lasts only a day, popping open in the morning and shriveled by the evening hours. I love the purple/yellow color combination.

(Email me if you want a division!)

I don't think he gets it

In a tearful response to an impassioned rebuke from his mother this afternoon, for poking his little brother in the face with a pointy toy, Diego replied remorsefully, "Okay... I will do different naughty things."

Doh!

A few observations from 12 years in the future

Or present, as it were.

After stampeding through my college daybooks, I decided to review my high school journals as well. What an interesting thing it is - to know yourself in those pages - but with the experience and maturity that a decade brings.

A few observations:

• I use the word "mass" with alarming frequency. Like, "I laughed mass hard."
• I was obsessed with boys, or, as I referred to them, "guys".
• I was always very concerned about the fact that I never had a boyfriend, though peppered through the text is many admonitions of feeling glad that I didn't.
• I've realized that I remembered the events through my feelings at the time - which were not necessarily reality. i.e. "No boys ever like me", but recorded in meticulous detail are many stories of getting pushed, jostled, patted, stared at, paper thrown at, attacked, etc., all by teenage boys. Ah-ha! Au contraire.
• From the way I wrote, I think I had a better sense of myself and a higher self-esteem than I remember. I was able to identify things about myself that are still true today, though I may not have seen the larger picture.
• I felt very connected to my female friends; my best friend in particular, whose personality and general presence strangely resembles Squeeze in many ways.
• I was always very concerned about being too loud and too wild. (But not enough to ever reign myself in.)

She flows

The sloughing of my uterine wall has recommenced. I could tell that things were changing, but I wasn't exactly sure what was going on until yesterday when "she flowed". I was strangely pleased to see it, as if that portion of my powers had returned to me.

I whipped out my Size A(fter) Keeper and put 'er in: plugged. Taken care of. I am glad I had purchased the post-vaginal delivery size this time around, as the Size B(efore) wasn't making the grade last time. And my goodness, ladies, I am reminded of how much I really really really like using The Keeper. I've been using it for the last 6 years (with 4 of them largely menses-free) and my only regret is that I didn't discover it sooner. [Props go to LSJF] If you haven't checked into yet, you should: it saves loads of cash, tons of grief, and is the hands-down environmentally-sound choice. It is a win-win-win decision.

This is the third time I've had my period in four years. !!! It has been a nice break, again; I definitely have extended breastfeeding to thank. The general rule is to nurse every 4 hours during the day and 6 hours at night to prevent ovulation, and my goodness: yes. It feels a lot more frequent than that (growth spurt?). But I can't complain with almost 17 months of free and completely natural worry-free birth control!

If this were Diego/Truen, I would have started cycling again in February - and been pregnant by the end of this month. That doesn't look so appealing to me this time around. I want to wow the crowds at our summer weddings (yeah...) and move around freely in pretty dresses in the warm summer sun instead [of lumbering]. The thought of giving birth in January in the frozen snowy prairies is also slightly daunting.

We shall see... I am going to re-read Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler, start charting morning temps, and keep a keen eye out for signs of fertility. It should be interesting - it will be the first time to use the knowledge I gained from that book. It even has recommendations on how to try for a girl (or a boy), though I haven't read that part yet.

Friends first

I never followed up on the Valentine Spaghetti Meal, our Friends of the Library's first fundraiser. It went well. We had 100 or so people in attendance and made over $500. I was there from 9:00 am to 4:00 pm, the longest I've ever been away from Baby Pumpkin (who is hardly a baby anymore). My boobs were like rocks by the end of the day - it was terrible.

It seemed to go over well with the townspeople. There were also two church brunches that day, so we were doubling-up on options in town. In a town of 700 people with one supper club open on limited evenings, they, or should I say, we, have a captive audience. All the various non-profits in the community make BIG MONEY on their fundraiser breakfasts, lunches, and dinners because there is nowhere else to eat! [Well...big money for rural MN...]

A lot of people stopped in after their brunch and donated money to show their support for the library, which was very nice. Who doesn't love libraries?! And, believe it or not, but there are towns in the area who don't have one. I grow faint at the thought.

We have our second fundraiser on Saturday: the local auction house has a food stand that rotates amongst the area non-profits. We got the slot last minute after another group cancelled. We are serving pulled-pork sandwiches, chips, and a pickle - with donuts and coffee in the morning and what locals call "bars" in the afternoon.

[Has anyone heard of these "bars" before? They're like cookies, but baked in huge jelly roll pans and cut into squares. I don't know if this is a regional thing, or my dislike for desserts... I have heard of "lemon bars" before - but simply "bars"??? Very strange.]

Obsess-much?

Your Long Journey from Raising Sand with Robert Plant and Alison Krauss has shot up to #3 on my iTunes account after a morning binge on endless repeat. I - can't - get - enough!

♥ ♥ ♥

I have been on what we have dubbed an "emotional vacation" for the past two weeks with Squeeze, my main squeeze, my only squeeze, aka - my husband. It has been part time-travel, part detective work, and part passionate revival. Our marriage relationship has always been solid, based on friendship and very happy, but for the last few years we have been operating largely as business partners vs. anything resembling passion. It took a little shaking-up to make us realize this.

It has been the most amazing thing - circumstances triggered by an interface from the past threw us into an intense reviewal of our 3.5 year tumultuous dating relationship. We've been re-reading old journals, daybooks, notes, letters, perusing through pictures, and talking extensively and intensively for almost 2 weeks straight, from the second we see each other in the morning until we go to bed (interrupted by work, of course). We never felt like we had the time to talk before this, but now find ourselves sitting the kids down with a pile of play-doh or little cars or sticks outside and talking and talking and talking. It feels so good.

We have made several discoveries about our past: why our dating years were so up-and-down, what attracted us to each other in the first place, and why things simmered down once we finally decided to go for the gold [get married].

We have told each other things that the other has never heard about until now. We are re-realizing why we are such a perfect pairing: how our idiosyncrasies work together to form a stronger bond, and the great respect and understanding that we have for each other.

It has been just so refreshing: and exactly what we needed.

ENFP + INTJ = ♥

Sunny brothers

Feb 2009

There and back again

I was gone for a week a-visiting in Minneapolis/St. Paul. It was a lovely trip - we spent a lot of time with family, friends, at beating down the doors of untold numbers of thrift stores. [I hit the jackpot at every place. Totally tubular.]

In short: we spent an entire day with my brother, brunched with college friends with BIG news (engagement, new house, newly-popped pregger belly), played with the cousins, did dot-art with our buddies, spent a morning at a Somali mall sipping tea and nibbling on sambusa, and finished of the week rampaging through an attic apartment in super hero costumes and wooden swords. Diego even got some quality snuggling/neck-touching time in with Auntie Lyndi; and Truen started pointing and things and attempting to say whatever words were asked of him.

My social cup over-floweth. It was a good time, I'm glad I went. And I am so glad to be home. It feels very nice.

Spring Cleaning

We have been flailing in our day-to-day life again. I am getting crankier and less productive by the day. And by productive, I mean as a mother: instead of enjoying my children's company, I am viewing them as a nuisance. How can I waste these precious years with that nasty attitude?!

It is time to get radical.

For myself, this means that the computer, unless required for a particular duty, will not be turned on until the afternoon. It isn't that I am spending so much time on it, but that it affects my attitude. Having that much opportunity for information and socializing at my fingertips is the cause of much distraction and impatience in my daily life. No more.

For the children, I will be implementing more structure into our daily life. We already have Special Time in the afternoon - after lunch and before pre-nap Reading Time - which has been terrific. [Special Time is 20-30 minutes where I get down on the floor and play with Diego (and Truen, peripherally). The timer is set, so we have a definite end. Without the timer, Special Time would go on into an infinity.] Special Time has been very good for us, forcing me to set aside time for focused attention; and of course, Diego just loves it.

So that is our afternoon: lunch, Special Time, reading, nap; but mornings are a different matter. Last winter, Diego would hit the ground running after breakfast and make a bee-line for the play table in the living room and play. Play, play, play. He would play by himself while I was able to clean up the kitchen and other miscellaneous activities. But that isn't happening this winter. He has a hard time finding things to do by himself, unless it is sitting on his potty chair and reading books for a half-hour (love it). This winter he is usually pestering the baby or creating mischief of some sort or the other. It really puts a crimp on things, as I am usually unable to do much of anything due to the circumstances (and it makes me mad).

He needs something to do. He needs a directed activity for the morning, after breakfast. I've decided to call it Work Time, where he will sit at the kitchen table and do whatever he wants: cutting, painting, coloring, pasting, play-doh, whatever. This will free me up to clean up the kitchen, prep for future meals, color with him, or whatever else pops up. Truen can sit at the table too, or run around. We started it yesterday morning and it went rather well.

New House Rules:

• Work Time after breakfast
• A skipped nap will result in Quiet Time
• Half the toys will be going into storage, for rotation
• Always keep a Star Chart on the refrigerator (a tool to look for/encourage the positive)
• A "bad" day will result in keeping Diego at my side

Working towards:

• More time outside
• A more organized daily routine
• A greater emphasis on craft/art projects
• Less of a focus on ME and my varied interests
• More attention to nurturing my wee ones
• Less clutter

A lot of this has been tumbling around in my mind for the past week or so. I have been crafting my plans while staring at the ceiling in bed, until the big picture finally came together. Ultimately, if I've learned anything as a parent it is this: most of my angst is my own fault. My children act up when I am not totally present with them. Sure, I'm with them all day, but when I am distracted and intent on my own agenda, they suffer - and misbehave to get my attention. A lot of problems would be avoided by providing them more focused attention and structure throughout the day. Even though I recognize this fact, it is very hard to implement change. This is part of my strategy: to allow change to happen naturally, once the structure is in place.

I'll keep you posted.

The bill was killed

It is back to the drawing board for South Dakota. The legislators voted 32-to-33 to not "strike the not" from the Health and Human Services committee's decision of "Do not pass". It needed 36 votes to pass. In addition to few legislators being off the floor that day, there were four legislators who had committed to "striking the not" who didn't follow through.

So here begins another year for South Dakota without legal access to Certified Professional Midwives. The movement is growing stronger with each passing year, and the South Dakota legislators are going to be dealing with many people where feelings of injustice and outrage will start morphing into RAGE itself. Especially for those in their childbearing years for whom the opportunity of having their homebirth will be gone by the time it becomes legal. They have to know that this is not an issue that The People are going to back down on... Don't they?

Onward and forward.

More frothy excitement about the Home Birth Safety Act

For those with interest and access, at 2:00 pm CST today, the South Dakota House will vote whether to "strike the not" from the "Do not pass" decision from the Health and Human Services committee from last week. If they choose to "strike the not", then the Homebirth Safety Act will be immediately debated on the floor. It should be very interesting.

If you have RealPlayer installed on your computer, you can listen to it live on the 2009 Session Committees page of the South Dakota Legislature. [You know I'm going to be glued to the computer!]

Advocates are expecting for the "not" to be stricken, as the bill had to be "smoked out" [a minimum vote from the floor] to even get to this point. For some perspective, the Homebirth Safety Act, which would give SD legal access to Certified Professional Midwives (CPMs), has never passed the Health and Human Services committee, nor has it been successfully "smoked out". The medical lobby is extremely strong in SD.

The fact that we are at this point this year means that (1) the grassroots campaign is gaining in numbers and strength, and (2) the legislators are starting to listen to their constituents and actively research this issue instead instantly dismissing it as "unsafe".

I listened to the Health and Human Services committee on the Homebirth Safety Act last week - the opposition presented themselves strongly, but were, at times, downright deceptive. One of the medical lobbyists gave a "fact" that 1-in-4 births have complications and should therefore take place in-hospital. What he failed to note, however, is that this is a hospital-based statistic. What this does explain is the nationwide c-section rate, which currently hovers around 30%. It has absolutely no bearing on midwife-attended homebirths. (Not to mention a very big reason why many women are choosing homebirths.)

Again, for perspective: the World Health Organization recommends a 5-10% c-section rate. This number is reasonable, and leaves room for true medical necessity. In the USA, the c-section rate for in-hospital births is 30% - more than three times the ideal. Additionally, this number has gone up 50% in the past decade. [Outrageously fishy, or what?!] Certified Professional Midwives, which are trained for the homebirth setting, have a c-section rate of 4%.

The reason for this low number is threefold: (1) Midwives work with low-risk, i.e. normal pregnancies, only. CPMs transfer care when they detect anything that moves a pregnancy out of the realm of low-risk. (2) Midwives are proponents of "natural birth". They believe in spontaneous vaginal delivery and do not induce, which often starts the domino-effect that leads to fetal distress and sectioning. Nor do they administer drugs, which can slow labor down and result in a "failure to progress". (3) Midwives are supportive throughout all of labor. They are by the side of the laboring woman, providing assistance and helping her work towards the end goal. I also believe that women in their own homes are more relaxed, which aids a gentler birth.

Ultimately, advocates for CPMs are not insisting that everyone give birth at home - they just want the option. And, outrageously, in South Dakota, people don't have the ability to choose this option. CPMs are arrested, prosecuted, and jailed for attending a birth at home. Families either (1) go it alone, or (2) cross the borders of the state to Safe Houses for a home-like birth experience. Neither of these are ideal choices.

And finally: a personal disclaimer. Because I am so enthused about this particular issue, I have found that many of my friends and acquaintances feel as if I will look down at them for choosing a hospital-birth. This is NOT the case. I am naturally exuberant and take quite quickly to championing causes I believe in. (But I don't have to tell you that...LOL) My main goal is to make sure that people know there are OPTIONS. I have talked with so many women who were upset about their experiences giving birth. It doesn't have to be like this! Do your research. Talk to your peers and elders. Know that there are choices outside of what is presented to you as a cultural norm. And then...decide for yourself.

Much love and NO JUDGEMENT from this girl...
a. borealis (aka - you know my name)

Bittersweet

I'm reading two books right now: one that has made me weep and gnash my teeth, and the other, which has made me snicker, guffaw, and feel a little dreamy. It is a good balance, one that helps my tender heart remember that life on earth is both bitter and sweet - with each extreme existing more heavily for some than others.

What is the What - Dave Eggers
Tales from Shakespeare - Charles and Mary Lamb

We had a little visitor

I think opossums are cute --

I like their long hair and pink noses.

I like their slender bare fingers,

with thumbs on both hands and feet.

I even like their tails

and their little beady black eyes --

but I don't like their teeth.

After seeing them, I can see how people

get the creeps from opossums.

But I still think they're cute.

We only see our resident opossum in the winter months.

Isn't that interesting?

I'm a Friend of libraries and sustainability

I cut my thumb with a knife last night so badly that it took 3-4 hours to stop the bleeding, with my arm in a sling and my thumb pressed against ice the entire time. Amazing. [I sliced into the top of my thumb, which is why it bled so profusely.] I was cutting up a tangelo. Bummer.

But...I'm all bandaged up and okay, though still a little bloody.

Remember all my groaning about our little town's public library? [I'm not going to link to it because I've wondered if my complaints were too snarky - but if you're really curious, they are all filed under "Rural Life".] And remember how I participated in starting, then became the president of, our local Friends of the Library group? Yes, well.

Our first official fundraiser is in week and a half: we are having a Sunday-noon Valentine Spaghetti Meal. My role will be as "Kitchen Helper", where I will be dishing up plates of food with gloves on and my hair tied back. It should be very interesting. The main cook said to expect 200 people! We are having a selection of Dazzling Desserts to lure the after-church crowds - and hope to have a small booksale on the side.

An interesting sidenote: at my insistence, we are serving the meal on ceramic dinnerplates with metal cutlery. Not only will it cost less - in the fact that we don't have to buy the supplies OR pay to throw them away - but I also am very serious about promoting a culture and atmosphere of sustainability vs. the seemingly-unquestioned current disposable culture. How will people know it is feasible if it NEVER happens? All the charitable meals "in town" use disposable table-settings, so this is really bucking the standard.

My plan has been met with everything from raised eyebrows to an exclamation of "You have GOT to be kidding me!!" Seriously. Nobody does it, so everyone thinks it is totally looney. I decided that I am going to be the Kitchen Helper to take the brunt of the dishwashing and not allow any room for complaints. (Not that I know that people will complain.) I don't mind washing dishes! And furthermore, at family gatherings I have actually discovered the JOY of washing dishes together. It can be a such a pleasure working together. This seems to be another sad victim of our culture's obsession with working less and "enjoying life more". There is great satisfaction of a job well-done, not to mention pleasure the actual act of "working". Why do we believe the contrary?

It will be interesting to see if we get any comments.

I imn't nuts

I had some major cabin fever last year - Sandy of LCCK recommended Vitamin D (as did my mother). Because of their advice, I decided to do a pre-emptive strike and have been taking a Vitamin D supplement sporadically and Cod Liver Oil everyday (CLO has vitamins A & D, and is high in omega 3's) throughout the year. Squeeze won't touch the CLO, but takes the vit. D every day. Good boy. So while I know it is only January, the weather has been -10 to -20 for the last month and because of that, we've been plenty cooped -- and I just wanted to do a little check-in and say: I'm feeling GREAT! Seriously - very optimistic, and even enjoying the endlessly snowy days. Especially the bright and sunshine-y snowy days.

The reason I brought this up is because a couple of people within the last week have inquired if I was going totally nuts, which I hadn't been thinking about at all. Not noticing that we are cooped has led me to the conclusion that I am feeling very balanced this winter, and that feels very good. In fact, I've been downright snug and happy. I think I have my Cod Liver Oil to thank. I give it to the boys as well - they clambor over each other to get their spoonful and beg for more. (We take the mint-flavored kind, which isn't very minty at all - it is actually almost a non-flavor, if that is possible.)

We have also noticed that our family has been a lot healthier this winter - any sickness we have had has been mild and fleeting, which was NOT the case last year during the cold/flu season. I've wondered if Cod Liver Oil has something to do with our total well-being. The only other difference is the eggs we are eating: our own chickens vs. store-bought. [And...I suppose I am soaking all of our grains vs. none at all. They do say that overall health lies within our gut.]

And finally, the "imn't" in this post title is a shout-out to my dear Diego, who invented the word and uses it regularly.

Brothers in the snow

Home Birth Safety Act

The legislative season has started in SD again, so much of my computer time is taken up with following and promoting and defending the Home Birth Safety Act. Last year, the state passed a bill that allows Certified Nurse Midwives (CNM) to attend homebirths, which was a strong step in the right direction. (Though very disappointing at the time.)

The problem? Roughly 1% of CNMs nationwide work in a homebirth setting. The rest of CNMs practice in the hospital setting. There is one CNM in the state of SD that attends homebirths. She had been fighting for years to make it legal, and finally - in June 2008 - was able to move her practice from WY back to SD, where she lives. Bless her.

So this year, the legislature is being lobbied to take the next step: certifying Certified Professional Midwives (CPM), who specialize in homebirths. This is their realm of expertise. That is what they do: attend homebirths. You may remember last winter, when I was all whooped up about this issue. Yes?

Currently, in the state of SD, CPMs are prosecuted and jailed for attending a homebirth. SD is one of nine states who follow that path. Can you believe it? It seems outrageous, but it is true. My very own midwife, whom we worked with this last pregnancy, is from SD and has served jail-time for assisting births in a home-setting. She was arrested for "practicing medicine without a license". She now works exclusively over the MN border until the laws change. In MN, CPMs are protected through state law.

The medical lobby is very strong in SD. But the fact remains: women and their families deserve the right to choose the care provider of their choice.